Great White: Will she stay or will she go (sob)? & where my time is spent

GW almost died on a 67 degree day end of March. It was a few hours before I was heading to the airport with Curly to visit USCA. I took the tots to the park. I wasn't worried- GW had died a few times in severe cold - and usually when backing up. 

After the park,  I loaded up the 5 tots. Backed out of my space, pulled onto the road, drove 20 yards and started to lose power. NO! I was flooring the gas while searching for the hazards button. Almost at a complete stop - then BAM it took off. Close call. My afternoon of getting home from the park and leaving an hour later from the airport flashed before my eyes. What if . . . ? 

I haven't driven the tots since. Too unreliable. 

It breaks down so infrequently that it's hard to recreate it. The mechanic can't pinpoint the issue. Sunday evening we dropped her off to be assessed again. GW's on its best behavior at the shop. 

Lad and Coach followed me in case they needed to push her. Lad had somewhere to be - so he drove separate. There I was, patting the dashboard - sweet talking with, "C'mon. You can do it." I called Coach and asked if he thought it was dumb to hop on the expressway. He thought I should probably take the expressway so I could drive fast. Me? Drive fast? C'mon. 

People, I cannot wrap my brain around not having GW. I've driven her for 18 years this month. #strongattachment

We made it without issue, but I had to laugh at our double escort in my rearview mirror. * this is my elevated view from what I fear is my last time driving GW. 

A few days later, Tim, the mechanic's office manager called. 

Tim:  I've been driving it around, so has Max. So far, we haven't had any problems.

photo from TMZ

Me:  I have to tell you -I picture the scene from 'Ferris Bueller' when the valet races Cameron's dad's sports car through the streets of Chicago, because I'm assuming you're probably doing something similar. 

I'm begging Coach to replace GW if she can't be fixed. we need I need another van to drive the tots/babies around. Plus, we're talking about going to Yellowstone next summer. Maybe I'll babysit grandkids when I retire (Maybe wrap this gig up when my current families graduate to school? 4 more yrs?). Is it wrong to hope for a van full of grand babies in the near future? 

I peeked at FB marketplace for other vans. (Shh, don't tell GW). I found a gray one. Um, slightly younger/slightly less mileage than GW. It's done it's not a former airport shuttle. It's a funeral home shuttle, complete with the name of the funeral home is on the side. What could be wrong with that? 

******

Recently Coach suggested that the reason I don't have enough time to write is because I answer the phone too often when our kids call. 

My brain:  Tell me you don't know what I do without telling me.

I've started texting him what I'm up to, what I'm working on, and how many more things remain on my list. He's been confused by this sharing of info. Why you telling me this?  

Last night, I swore I was gonna write this post and finish the photo book that I started a year ago for one of my most-loved babysitting families. Their son started as a newborn and graduated to kindergarten. His little sister was also here, but with the mom's work location and his aftercare - she couldn't be at both pickups so their last day was May of '24. The photo book is over 80 pages (5 years of pics!) and I'M SO CLOSE TO BEING DONE . . . it's a labor of love. 

But, Kae needed a bday gift for her friend who is moving to MI. I suggested stationary. Her bday was today. Hmm. Kae didn't know what stationary was. I put the photo thing on hold and we created the girl's name with flowers in the background, saved it as a picture - sent it to Walgreens and they printed 20 notecards with envelopes. Kay and Rae were over the moon this morning when they saw the gift. (I stayed up late and ran to pick it up). So cute. 

Then tonight, I was gonna FINISH THE PHOTO BOOK, possibly buy some of the things I've been stalking on ThredUp (my latest addiction), and WRITE THIS POST. 

not the version we
ordered but you get the idea

Then we realized that the merch from Curly's school never arrived and tomorrow is signing day. So, I hopped on the internet, designed a t-shirt, (I called the Maker Studio at the library but I couldn't use the machine) and ordered it at
design.samedaycustom.com that swears they're gonna deliver to her high school by 11:30 am, and yes, I paid out the ass for this t-shirt to be mega-rushed. But full ride gives me a unique I DON'T CARE perspective. 

*****

What keeps you busy that your spouse or family doesn't seem to grasp? Have you ever shopped at ThredUp? (she asks as she plans to sneak into her walk in closet and now wake Coach while trying on her own items to see if they will work and thus making part of her ThredUp shopping distraction unnecessary). Any car attachment people out there?  Have you dream of driving a 12 seater van? When the photo book is ordered, I'll be better about responding to comments/blog posts. Promise.

Great news after the 'Can you talk?' text & Kay: confused and found, hotel edition, tales of the Florida trip

Great news:  I never shared the fear here, but after Dad was released from the hospital last month, his follow up chest x-rays weren't clear. When I landed at O'Hare after the recruiting visit to SC with Curly, my brother Pat texted me:  Can I call you? 

=Not a good sign. The doctor had said the day before at the follow up, that maybe it wasn't pneumonia - maybe it was cancer. Remember Dad had 20 inches of his large intestines removed in July? He couldn't tolerate the cancer meds afterward. So, now the doc wondered if the cancer had spread to his lungs. 

He had another x-ray that Wednesday. Pat texted me on Friday while we were driving to Florida. NOT CANCER. The pneumonia took a long time to clear. Phew. Nana will be lost without Dad, so this was a relief on so many levels. That was a great way to start our trip. 

We ended our trip on a different note. 

Coach insisted we stop at a Comfort Inn south of Louisville. I was annoyed. I'd hoped that since we left at 6 am, we might be able to push through and get home that night. We'd driven for like 14 hours. What was 5 more? Plus we had Curly and Tank, who were both willing to drive a shift. 

Tensions were a tad elevated for various reasons. 

Coach left this on our bathroom
 counter top a few days
 later. Hello, PTSD.

After we checked into the hotel, I decided to take a walk. The room (note:  not plural- Coach chose one room for all 6 of us, I was not consulted) was really warm, but I saw Coach mess with the thermostat before I left to walk. It was dark out, but after sitting for so long, and after Coach grabbed the dashboard every time I made a lane change, well - I was happy to walk off my frustrations. 

When I crept back into the room, Rae was asleep on the pullout and Kay was asleep on a stack of couch cushions. Were they asleep, or were they suffering from a heat induced coma? Because the room was still SWELTERING. 

Coach and Tank were sharing a bed. Tank was awake, lying in a pool of sweat. Coach was asleep until I announced that there was not a chance in hell (and by the feel of things, we were maybe in HELL) that I was gonna sleep in a room with broken AC. I tried to mess with the thermos in the dark. Curly, who was wide awake in the bed she and I were gonna share, mouthed the words WHY'S IT SO HOT IN HERE?

I went downstairs to the front desk, explained the sauna room. The guy told me to give it 2o minutes. 

Me:  Well, we checked in almost 2 hours ago, what's 20 min gonna do?

Photo from my fired up walk.

When I got back to the room, Coach was getting dressed. By the time I finished brushing my teeth, Coach returned:  WE HAVE 10 MINUTES TO MOVE OUR STUFF TO 317. (from 205)

He woke up Kay and Rae. I started gathering chargers and bags and food from the fridge. It was still a scramble. Curly noticed that Kay was lingering. Rae had followed Coach out of the room. 

Curly:  Go, Kay. Room 317. What are you waiting for?

Coach, who'd popped back in the room to grab another load:  Where's Kay?

Tank and I stared at him:  She left a few minutes ago.

Great, now we'd lost a child in the Comfort Inn that was anything but comfortable. By the way, the hallways were like 55 degrees. I considered sleeping out there.

Coach raced up to 317 using the stairwell. He wasn't sure where his phone was, so I had no contact with him. I took the elevator to the lobby. Tank took the stairs to the lobby. When she wasn't in the lobby, Tank ran back up to room 205. He called my cell as I was waiting for the elevator to go back up. 

Tank:  Got 'er.

Turns out, she'd gotten dressed, or at least put a shirt on with her pj bottoms, and grabbed her toiletry bag. Then she went to the lobby, thinking it was morning. When no one was eating breakfast, she went back up to room 205. Tank found her staring at the door to 205, head tilted to one side. He escorted her up to our new room and eventually everyone fell asleep, compliments of blasting AC. 

We made it home late afternoon, and we shared the story of confused Kay several times that weekend. 

*****

Ever stayed in a room with broken heat or air? We had no AC in August in Boston the year we visited before dropping Lad off at college in New York. We suffered through. Ever have a kid become confused and wander a hotel half asleep? Ever walk 3.5 miles outside of a hotel room to cool your jets?  Do you agree about where to stop on a long drive, or how many rooms to secure? Does your spouse critique your driving with nonverbal cues? Tell me I'm not alone.

Is it BACK? I hope not. Wanting answers and walking with the CBWC

This was not what I planned to post, but it's current and mind blowing. The post about the call from my brother ended up to be a scary thing that was soon resolved - for those of you who were maybe losing sleep. More later. Also, I apologize for being so behind on responding to comments and a bit behind on blog commenting. I've been struggling with this damn gut thing and working on a project that I'm bound and determined to complete. 

*****

Something's up with my gut. Nothing new. Same old, same old. Although I've asked begged the doctors to address the issue vs manage my symptoms, getting to the root of it seems impossible. Why- in the year 2026?

I suspect that my doctor might soon be celebrating like her 23rd birthday, so . . . I'm not confident that she knows stuff. She's at University of Chicago - outstanding GI dept, so she must . . . test well? - I'm kidding, but c'mon. Can I get someone with a butt load of experience, please?

I've had a few recent nights interrupted by the discomfort in my left side. The awful, metallic taste in my mouth is persistent and since I've recently quit sucking on pennies or other coins, I believe it's a clue about what the trouble is. 

Bottom line: I fear this is SIBO - small intestinal bacterial overgrowth. 

Cliff notes:  I was diagnosed with SIBO in 2023. Twice. First time, did the antibiotic. Relief was temporary- SIBO came back. 

Female Doogie Howser's handling of my issue:  take Miralax twice a day. Take an antacid in the morning. Take a low dose antidepressant (known to dull abdominal pain) before bed in order to sleep. 

But why? 

My theory:  I've got some scar tissue or perhaps narrowing of the intestines (is that a thing?), and until they solve the pipe issue - nothing will change. 

Wednesday morning I woke up at 2:00 am and opted to take my RX antacid hours early. It worked, I fell back asleep. Sometimes instead of feeling discomfort in my left side, I just feel wired. I don't 'feel' the acid. It's a silent pest. 

Wednesday evening, I took my antacid before dinner - bumping up the meds to 2x a day. My doc had offered that as an option a while back, but I declined. Fingers crossed that more stupid meds will at least give me some predictability. 

I broke down and cried on the phone to my friend, Delilah, Monday night. I know that there are worse health issues that people have to deal with. For me, the 'no rhyme or reason' component is tough. Not getting answers is frustrating. I want a doc to remove the stretch of my pipes that gets so exhausted by doing its job. 

A small miracle:  Last week, I googled the doc who diagnosed my SIBO in 2023. She'd left Loyola when I came back a few weeks later for my follow up. Of course, Loyola wouldn't tell me where she went. When I realized the non compete thing had to have expired, my google search found her at Northwestern. 

I got an appointment in late September. I was honestly happy they didn't say Not Accepting New Patients. They put me on a cancellation list, and said I could call in case there were any immediate openings. Hello, speed dial.

I called on Monday. While I was still on the phone someone cancelled. MONDAY, MAY 4TH, AFTER SCHOOL. It's a hike, but Coach can do the daycare pickup. I might make a paper chain to count down the days till I'm reunited with the doc who I trust and who I believe knows stuff. 

In the mean time I started following the low FODMAP diet again. That basically means I'm barely eating anything. 

*****

Rather than post a photo of my enviable inventory of Miralax bottles, below are a few photos of me walking (in weird order). I'm doing my best to get out and walk with so many other bloggers and blog friends. Elisabeth is organizing the CBWC (cool bloggers walking club). Walk/move 10 minutes a day in April. *When the weather is icky, I count racing up and down the stairs carrying the 6 month old twins, or the other tots in my care. 

Am I alone in my support of Miralax? Anyone else walking or moving in April with the other cool bloggers? Anyone a fan of the Doogie Howser show back in the day, or are you too young to get that reference? 

Sunday, 4/12:  I meant to walk earlier
 when it was nice out, and instead left
 when there was a threat of rain. Wait
 till you here what distracted me all
 afternoon. It's a hoot. Anyway, I was
 only drizzled on and I walked
 about 4 miles. Felt great.

Monday 4/13:  The twins weren't here,
so I could fit the 3 littles in the
 quad stroller. It was a beautiful
 day. We (well, me) walked 3.5 miles.

Tuesday 4/14:  I managed
 to load 5 littles
into the quad stroller.
I walked 3 miles. Note the
pretty blooming tree.

This is last week. Sorry my photos are not
 in chronological order. This was my
 first try at fitting 5 in the
 quad - and it worked just fine.

I have a story from this night. April 2nd. After
being in a car for 14 hours, I decided
 to walk around the hotels and
 restaurants before going to bed. 

Curly's college decision: getting there is half the fun

My frozen GF pizza that
I made before we left
 - thinking I could eat it
between flights. Um,
 no. I had to eat it
on the flight, but
 I first apologized to
the man next to me.
 My attempt to keep it
warm meant layers
of newspaper and tin foil. It
 was bigger than a football. 

Making connections in South Carolina:  Curly and I flew to Aiken, SC March 19th to visit Univ South Carolina Aiken (USCA). Our flight to Charlotte left an hour late. Our connection to Columbia was gonna depart 50 min after we landed. 

USCA booked Curly's flight, so we weren't sitting together. Curly:  last row. Me:  middle of plane. After Coach's recent flying ordeal, I asked the flight attendant if they'd make an announcement, requesting people without a connection remain seated while the rest deplaned. He said sure, but then forgot. 

We waited for a gate in Charlotte. I was panicked. I texted Curly:  I'm gonna make my own announcement. Translation:  brace for the embarrassment.  

I'm thoughtful that way. 

I hollered my request. Based on the people dawdling after deplaning, not many felt compelled to help those of us in a time crunch.

Wasn't really warm,
 but yummy.

My text to Curly:  I'M GONNA RUN TO GATE E21. FIND YOUR WAY THERE. HURRY!

Thanks to signage, I knew the walk from B4 to E21 was 18 min. I stuck my roller bag in front of me and ran. I imagine security personnel replaying the  footage of me running through the airport. 

I arrived ay my gate doubled over, gasping. "My daughter's coming. She's a b-ball player. She's fast. Please wait for her." 

The airline staff person:  Well, if she's so fast - how did you beat her? 

Me:  We weren't sitting together. 

I called Curly. 

Curly, panting:  Almost there. 

She rounded the corner at top speed, carrying her roller bag in front of her (she packed light, but still). 

I needed a restroom. The woman scanning our boarding passes gave me 4 min to run to the bathroom, because the airplane's was out of service. Curly was irritated that I'd not gone while I waited for her. 

Hey, I'm a mom - I risked my personal needs to hold the flight.  

The USCA coach picked us up at the airport, which was nice. I dry coughed the short flight and the hour drive to the hotel. I rarely need an inhaler, and was relieved to find one in my roller bag when we got to our room. Phew. 

Curly's fav building with a
courtyard in the middle of it,
and tables for studying. 

Smooth sailing:  The rest of the visit went great. We liked campus. The head of the nursing school toured us through the dept. Very impressive. B-ball payers live in the best apartment-style dorm. The young female coach, who started there in April '25 and has coached elsewhere, suggested that Curly eat lunch with the team, while I eat with the coaching staff. 

Me:  YES!

It was ideal for Curly to hang with the team. She asked the girls about the players who'd jumped in the portal (transferred) - a few had bad attitudes, and one was hoping to go D1. That clarity helped. 

Bonus:  We learned that a girl from the Chicago 'burbs has committed to USCA for volleyball. She and Curly have a mutual friend, Kat, from Curly's high school volleyball team. Kat is excited for them to meet, believing they'll hit it off. Curly likes the idea of having a college friend near home, which'll be rare if her school is so far. Plus, it'll be fun to meet someone in advance who plays a different sport. 

The coach sat us down in a conference room, showed us a power point, and said:  I want you on our team, Curly. I think you'd be a great fit. I'm offering you a full ride. 

I maintained my composure, but back in our room, where the coach dropped us before dinner - I was squeezing my kid FULL RIDE? WOW! 

Where all the fun happens.

Curly:  I think I still pay room and board. 

Me:  Huh? Ya think?

When we got picked up for dinner, Curly texted me from the front seat:  Ask her.

Me:  So, can you clarify, does the offer include room and board? What will we be responsible for?

USCA coach:  Everything's included. You pay for your books. 

Curly and I were both like, Wow, that's great. We enjoyed dinner with the coaches. One asked about life in a big family. I'd listened to defense and offense talk all day, now we were speaking my language. 

I described Lad's exotic red frog that hopped out from under the fridge a few years ago - the one I mistook as a dropped raspberry, till it hopped. Curly shared a few tales about playing sports with older brothers who played legit defense on her - no advantages for the cute little sister. Favorite sport movies was another fun discussion. 

USCA coach:  The other players really like you. They're hoping you accept the offer. Think about it and let me know after spring break, please.

She requested that Curly not share the offer on social media until she accepted it. When athletes post their offers, other coaches catch wind and reach out. It's an interesting system. Curly didn't post it, and I respect the coach's angle and how she handled it.  

Ah, sweet home, Chicago. 

St. Leo, the school near Tampa that gave Curly an offer in January, was no longer in the running. Curly notified that coach. I later learned that the St. Leo player that Curly connected with the most had decided to transfer. She and Curly had followed one another, so Curly knew. 

* can we pause for a moment and recognize that in a time that preceded this one, FOLLOWING SOMEONE meant we walked behind them.  

Being close to home was the only box USCA didn't check. But I pointed out that her 4 older working sibs can fly down for a game. The town of Aiken is really cute. It's known for horse racing. Derby horses winter there, so it'll be a great place to visit. And, WARM WEATHER. Plus, the distance will suck more for us than for her. She won't be coming home that often. We need to plan flights in advance (not my strong suit), hoping she can fly direct from O'Hare to Augusta, GA and avoid the connection nightmare. 

BOTTOM LINE:  On Good Friday she called USCA coach and accepted the offer. This has been a long, exhausting process (lots I never blogged about). I think she's gonna be happy there. I'm off on Fridays, so I'll be ready to escape the Midwest weather to fly down and watch a game. 

After we landed in Chicago, I saw a text from my brother, "Can I call you?" Uh oh. I knew that wasn't gonna be good news. More later . . . 

*****

When was the last time you ran thru an airport to catch a flight? Have you been here long enough to remember the tiny frog hopping out from under the fridge incident? Have you ever heard of Aiken? Been there? 

Not to worry - I was NOT eaten by manatees in Florida. Where did I leave off?

I've been busy:  hosted two Easter parties and got college kids back where they belong and then drove to the city last night to listen to Tank play in a session . . . so I could hand off the forgotten items Reg left behind. Tank's roomie/courier is flying home to Omaha this weekend. 

I had this post ready to post while I was in Florida and I got distracted by the manatees and forgot. 

OMG - I have so much to share, but first I'm worried you've all been on the edge of your seat wondering where I took the girls after I dropped Reg at his carpool meeting spot minutes after we raced home from Grand Rapids.

last minute drive into the city. 40 min. Great skyline.
 Plus this helped with my Tank with drawl-
 missing him after spending
spring break with him in Florida.

Next stop:  free shopping with teens, shoe switcheroo, and Exhaustion

Sunday, March 15th:

1:30 pm - arrived at a resale for children's clothes. The resale organizers offer whatever is leftover from the sale to foster/adoptive parents FOR FREE. Sales happen twice a year. I've never been able to take the girls, because children aren't allowed - but this time, I realized that they are now old enough to join me. 

Rae is crazy picky. Kay is less so, but I cannot predict what she'll turn up her nose at - letting them pick stuff they like is so much easier than me hauling stuff home and then finding out they aren't interested. I donate their castoffs to Amvets, but it's one less step. There's also nowhere to try stuff on, so even this time, some stuff didn't fit/work out. 

We stood in line till the doors opened at 2:00 pm. 

The line is like a Who's Who in the foster/adoption world of the Chicago suburbs. I see a lot of familiar faces. 

There are also books, crafts, and games. They both really enjoyed 'shopping'. In typical Rae fashion, she commented twice at how much fun that was. Kay didn't mention it, but she enjoyed it. She was very excited once home that a bathing suit she liked fit perfectly. She's taking it to Florida. 

Re-entry (even after almost 3 years!) to my 'real' life after a weekend away can be hard. A 45 minute car ride on our way to the sale with me describing how Tank hid when summoned to dance at the party, and how Mini hit Tank with a pillow for snoring, etc. was just the thing. Plus, chuckling together at some of the available items at the sale in addition to searching for finds was a good way to connect.  

3:30 pm - We got home, I showered, and ate my lunch while the girls did a fashion show of their selections.

4:30 pm - Curly, Rae, Kay, and I drove to 5:30 mass at a different parish. On our way, Curly and I ran into a wake at a nearby funeral  home for her teammate's grandpa. He'd been a patient of Coach's off and on for decades. Coach was trying to get home from Delaware, but it was getting dicey. 

6:30 pm - Curly and I traded shoes in the pew after mass - a first. I didn't want to wear my suede shoes in the torrential downpour that I didn't realize was heading our way - thus Coach's delay in Charlotte.  I ran through the puddles to get the car and picked the girls up at the door.

6:50 pm - as we pulled into the driveway, Reg texted about the car accident he and Thomas were in. 

I watched the Oscar's kind of, but mostly edited an essay Curly wrote for a scholarship. I texted with Coach about his travels and had calls with Reg about where he was. 

I'm guessing it will surprise no one that I was exhausted by the time I crawled into my bed, which I did once I knew Reg was a few minutes away from campus. 

*****

Do you have a favorite clothing item that was free/handed down? Ever swap shoes, or go shoeless and tuck your prize shoes under a coat to keep them from the elements?

I'll take Facts about Marine Animals for $200, Alex, & a 'What would you serve?' desperate scramble for menu input

Here I sit typing . . . 

Can you see it?

on the balcony of my VRBO overlooking a little inlet chock full of manatees. When I read the unit's description about 'enjoy the manatees while sipping your morning coffee from one of the two balconies', I assumed that meant one visitor had once witnessed a single manatee. 

Well, pardon my pessimism and shut my mouth. 

The minute we arrived, I walked onto the balcony and saw what I thought was a floating log, or a large rock. A few minutes later, we realized it WAS a manatee - they can hold their breath for up to 20 minutes. What I first saw was a sleeping manatee. Friends, there are easily a dozen manatees wrestling together in the water behind our unit. We can't stop taking video snippets of their antics. It's wild. (below is a 45 second video of the manatees - highly recommend). 

What's more wild?

Coach thought manatees had legs. 

He told Curly:  they probably like it here, because it's so shallow they can walk around and eat the sea grass. 

Curly:  Uh, so they can't walk they have fins, father.

Have we stopped making fun of him for this? No, why do you ask?  

Rae had never heard of a manatee. Curly chuckled about that initially, but then we let it drop - because Kay and Rae's lack of experience going to aquariums, reading books with a parent, and traveling places tends to be off limits. 

He's batting 1,000:  

We played a game of Code Names on Saturday night, and when Tank's clue was 'birds for 2', there were two bird cards on the board. 'Penguins' and 'Hawk'. Coach overthought his team's answer, tried convincing Rae that a penguin wasn't a bird. 

Coach:  Wait, they swim, hmm, I don't think they're birds, are they?

Tell me which parent visited the zoo with our 6 older kids 7,000 times, without telling me. 

What would you serve? 

A few days before we left for Florida, I decided that we should host an early Easter dinner on Holy Saturday. Rae and Kay are becoming Catholic at the Easter Vigil mass Saturday at 8 pm. Coach's folks are staying at a hotel, so that they can attend. We've been married almost 30 years, so I know they'll bolt back home (an hour north) first thing Sunday. I need to feed them. Plus, they've been in South Carolina since mid December and we haven't seen them. Also invited:  other friends and family. Maybe 25-30ish people.

We return Friday. I tidied before we left, but believe-you-me, my work is cut out for me. I bought the three youngest girls new dresses before Florida. Check that off the list.

People will eat ham on Easter, so Not ham. Fancy is not the answer. I'm aiming for easy. Maybe shredded barbeque chicken in the crockpot - buns for those that want it. Open to ideas. Oh, I ordered a Costco cake before I left for Florida. I can whip up a 7 layer taco dip with my eyes closed, so appetizer = no brainer. 

****

Have you seen a manatee in the wild? Did you know that a manatee has no legs? Do you play Code Names?  Are you anxious to hear about how Tank told off a guy at the pool yesterday? (I so want to share, but keeping this short) Can you guess what happened? 

part deux: Grand Rapids or bust, and beyond

*If you missed the firsts installment of the crazy busy weekend, you can catch up here. 

Saturday, March 14th:

8:08 am - We drove to the station closest to us. Reg parked Tex. We triple checked that he left the fob in the car, sent Tank photos of where Tex was, and drove west. One of the girls suggested that I leave them there - at the closer station. I noted the panic in Reg's face in my rearview mirror. 

Me:  No, it's no problem. I don't want to mess you guys up. We'll go to the other station. 

The station was packed. Reg texted that they just managed to squeeze on. 

8:45  am- I whipped up more soda bread, wanting it fresh for my Grand Rapids friends.

9:00 am - I worked out. Loaded my Stanley thermos with dinner from the crockpot for the road trippers. Showered. Got dressed for the funeral. Tank texted that he hopped on an earlier train, so he'd be home before I left for the funeral.

10:50 am - Curly, Mini, and I attended the funeral mass at the church a stone's throw from our house. 

Tank took Rae to see my folks, filled the minivan with gas, and brought the big cooler in from the garage. 

12:00 pm- after the funeral, Mini asked me to drop her home. She refused to attend the celebration of life lunch, because of her 'puddle' status. I told her she'd feel better surrounded by people and friends who were also grieving. Nope. She insisted that if her friend who spoke about her dad and didn't shed a tear could hold it together, she could not show up in such a state. I dropped her home, and Curly and I drove around the corner to the luncheon. 

12:30 pm - Curly's friend picked up Rae and drove her 25 minutes away to Suzi's house. She claimed volunteer status, but I insisted on paying her. Suzi's older kids would drop Rae home after 3:30 pm. 

1:00 pm - Got home. Changed clothes, loaded the cars, loaded the cooler with 7 layer taco dip, breakfast, GF dinner for me, and soda bread. 

1:30 pm -  hit the road. I listened to the last few hours of my audiobook 'Culpability' on blue tooth. Mini asked for a recap of the first 3/4 of the book. I filled her in. She was invested. 

4:45 pm - Rae called. It was 3:45 at home. 

Rae:  I just got home. The garage door was up, but no one's home. Is it OK if I go to Chick-Fil-A with Suzi's girls? And then come back? I'll put the door down. 

Me:  Yeah, Reg's probably napping. 

5:20 pm - Reg called. 

Reg:  Do you know where the girls are? It took a little longer to get home, because the train was packed. But I called Tommy (a neighbor kid) and had him open the garage door*. But the girls aren't here and I just got home and the door is down. 

*little girls don't know the code, because I can go for my run and they can go outside and shoot hoops, walk, etc. That way they don't re-enter the house while I'm running. Do we hope to trust them one day - soon? Yep. It's not easy living with kids who:  earn trust, break trust, repeat. *sigh* 

Me:  grrrr - It's fine, Reg. Rae will be home any minute. She got home and her ride took her to Chick-Fil-A because you weren't there. I told her you were napping. 

From crockpot to Stanley
pot. Have food, will travel.

5:30 pm - We arrive at the hotel (time change) after an uneventful 3 hour drive. Changed into green party attire, and I fed my people dinner from my Stanley thermos. No one would be surviving on appetizers alone on my watch. 

I knew that Reg's friends were coming back to our house after the parade to hang out in the basement. I'd suggested 8 or 9:00 pm. Um, no. They showed up right after the parade and the 'it'll be about 8 kids' wasn't accurate, but Reg fed the girls dinner, loaded leftovers from the crockpot in the fridge, and came upstairs regularly to check on them. They were watching a movie in the family room. 

Is the fact that Reg forgot to serve the 7 layer taco dip an indication that he may have been a tad overserved? Um, yes. 

Coach called Kay to ask her how science fair went. She was the only one from her school that didn't make it to state. We were SHOCKED that she'd made it to regionals. I wish I had a recording of Mini asking her about her project over Christmas. "So, you're giving preschoolers fruit, telling them it's apple, and then waiting to see if they notice it's pear? Is that science? Or trickery?" 

Kay told Coach there were about 50 pairs of shoes in the front hall. Maybe an exaggeration? Coach was a little miffed, but I reminded him that Reg is a huge help and this was the one thing he wanted to do over break. AND - the girls had to attend a 10:00 am scrutiny mass on Sunday at a church 20 minutes away. He took them, filled in as a sponsor, since their sponsors were unavailable. They were dressed appropriately, and not late. We let the basement 'rager' slide.

This bottle opener posted in
 their home made me chuckle. 

6:45 pm - 12:30 am - The Grand Rapids crew laughed, and enjoyed the party. We
watched Curly dance. We chuckled when Tank's best friend's freshman in hs little brother talked for a long time to Curly. Hey, maybe he digs older chicks? 

12:30 am - we Uber'd back to the hotel. Tank fell asleep in his clothes, face down on his bed. Mini hit him with a pillow during the night:  "Stop snoring!" The air mattress Curly brought failed her. Her butt was on the floor. Despite the nonsense, I enjoyed some long stretches of sleep. 

9:00 am - I'd decided that 9:30 am was the latest we could leave. Reg needed to meet Thomas, his ride back to Omaha. Thomas lives in Grand Rapids. I'd met his mom at the party. I needed to drop Mini at ND (slight detour), get home, and drive Reg 25 min south of our house to meet Thomas.

I roused the gang and put my contacts in. 

Confession: I sometimes wear my daily  contacts an additional day. 

My lens ripped in half in my eye. Curly eventually found the hidden half, and helped me get it out but my one-eye'd status slowed us down. Don't worry - I'm no longer reusing lenses. I'm a slow learner. 

11:20 am - dropped Tank off at a bagel place in South Bend, and circled back after I dropped Mini off. He needed food and my 'here's a banana' offering wasn't cutting it.

We'd just finished 'Culpabiliy' and had a mini book club 'how would you rank it?' discussion. Tank was annoyed he'd been subjected to it. Mini gave it a 3 out of 5. I'm maybe 3.5. I was interested in the story, but not the technical stuff - even though I know that was the whole point. Curly listened to music, unaware that a book was playing. She'd rather stream 'Castle' than read. I'm hoping she'll discover a love of reading eventually. I didn't embrace reading till I was a grown-ass adult. 

We got gas. I kept waiting for Reg to leave mass, so he could text me Thomas' ETA. 

12:00 pm - we got home. I scraped together some leftovers for Tank to take home and I told him to use my cc to Uber back to the city. I drove Reg. 

12:32 pm - we arrived 2 minutes before Thomas. (wipes sweat from brow). Kay and Rae were with me for . . .                                            

our next adventure. STAY TUNED. 

******

You can try, but there's literally no chance you'll guess where the girls and I ventured next. Have you read Culpability?  If so, what would you rate it?