Lose my number: navigating student-thing that begs prof help & feeling frustrated (plus recipe links)

Early August, a woman, Ann, texted me to ask if Rae could hang out with her daughter, Gina. I asked Rae when she got home from caddying, 'Wanna go to Gina's house?' 

Rae:  Um, no.

I was surprised. Rae said she wasn't really friends with her, and she was really quiet. I asked who she was friends with and Rae said she didn't know if she had any friends. She'd transferred to the school midway through freshman year. Apparently, in January I texted a study guide or something to the mom on behalf of Rae, because the girl had missed school. So the mom knew my number. 

I urged Rae to go, saying "If she's not hung out with any girls from school all summer, maybe she's trying to reconnect before school starts."

****** more details *******

*I just looked back at the text thread - before this hang out happened, there were literally dozens of texts all on the same day hoping to make this hangout happen. Our day was busy, and it included a visit into the city to watch Lad play w.p. in the lake. Ann failed to grasp the way a caddy schedule works - which is to say, NO ONE KNOWS WHAT TIME SHE WILL BE HOME. I initially said I could let her know, or I said MAYBE ANOTHER TIME. None of my attempts at switching it up worked. I was busy and also confused about her constant badgering, but ultimately, I let her know that we were back from the city and Rae was home from caddying . . . but it was a draining experience, that I chalked up to a one time thing. I assumed once school got underway, Gina would invite new friends over. 

*************

Rae agreed to go that day and later I asked how it went. "Well, it was like talking to a wall. She didn't say a word, but her older brother (who also attends their high school) was there with his friend. We all hung out after dinner, and then it got a little better." 

I assumed 'didn't speak a word' was an exaggeration. Also, this girl lives 15 miles away - in the opposite direction of the high school she and Rae attend. I cannot for the life of me wrap my brain around driving close to an hour to this very small Catholic school. It's fine IMO, but it's far from the GOAT. In order to get to her house, we need to hop on an expressway and a toll road. In other words, her house is a good 30 min drive one way and traffic or construction can complicate things. 

On the way home from SC, Ann, the mom, texted and asked if Rae could come over again. I explained that with caddying and Rae's plan to attend evening Sunday mass and my deep dive in prepping for daycare to start (not wanting to do a 1 hour round trip in the car), it would be best if Gina came to our house. I didn't hear back from Ann for over 24 hours. Part of me was relieved, thinking she'd moved on.

Nope. She texted back. Gina would be more comfortable if Rae comes to our house. Now, WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON?

I finally said, RAE COULD COME AFTER SHE CADDIES. Ann, who opted to attend a mass near us, was offering to pick Rae up. Again, failing to comprehend caddy timing. 

This was the Sunday that I was meeting Bloggy friends, Birchie and Kyria, for dinner. I told the mom I'd have to pick Rae up by 4, because she needed to leave my house by 4:40 to get to mass with Mini. Coach was driving home from Omaha. 

About 30 min before Ann was due to arrive at my house, I paused clearing a path in the boy room to set up pack and plays to text Ann. Rae hadn't called yet to say she was done with her loop. 

In other words, when Ann arrived to get her, Rae wouldn't be home. Plus Rae would need to shower. Ann offered to stall, shopping nearby, etc. I finally pointed out that Rae would end up being at her house for an hour at best before I had to come pick her up. Not.gonna.work. 

She tried not to take no for an answer, but I put my foot down. I did NOT have time for this. 

Fast forward a bit, the texts begging Rae to text with her daughter or gather her homework once school started persisted. Rae said Gina rarely went to school. 

Me (to Coach a few weeks ago):  I suspect Gina has an issue. Maybe social anxiety, but she doesn't attend school much and Rae told me that when she does show up the teachers aren't nice to her. They'll say OH NICE OF YOU TO SHOW UP or IF YOU DON'T WANNA BE HERE THEN DON'T COME. This is wrong on so many levels. It's clear to me that this girl has a mental health issue. Is the mom unaware? Has she not let the school know? 

*****ASIDES*****

* I sensed that Rae was adopting the teachers' approach to Gina. 'She's ridiculous, she never comes to school'. I told Rae that I suspected that Gina had some issue, and that it wasn't OK for the teachers to speak unkindly to her or about her. I also told her that I expected her to be understanding towards her. 

* Early on in the 'can Gina text Rae on your phone?' thing, I praised Rae, saying that I suspected that Gina was reaching out to Rae because Rae had shown her kindness along the way and that I was proud of her for that. Mini was sitting in the kitchen and she chimed in too (praise from an older sib carries more weight than if I say it).

**********

I told Coach that I was leaning towards having a phone call with Ann, offering to be a resource for her, seeing as we are no stranger to mental health issues and we've been blessed with amazing therapists along the way. (and crappy ones, ie:  Do you know anyone who has teenagers?)

Coach moaned, and basically suggested I stay in my lane. At the same time, he took my phone one night while we were watching TV, because Ann's texts were nonstop. 

Then I drafted a script, printed it out, took it to my closet, and called Ann over Labor Day weekend. I told her I didn't want to overstep, but that I sensed Gina had some sort of struggle, if she was open to it, I'd be willing to share our experience and serve as a resource.

Ann got her husband on the phone, and asked me to say it all again. I repeated myself. They were so appreciative. I told them that I felt the teachers at the school were out of line (Ann and husband were unaware this was happening), and that if the issue hadn't been communicated to the school - it probably should be (and even if it hadn't been, What the hell? Teachers, you have to realize something is wrong with her!). 

*Rae's school has some aspects that are underwhelming. It's Catholic, but there's a clear lack of joy. A ton of 'demerit this and demerit that'. Rae is happy there. I'll share more of my perspective another time. Back to the telephone convo in my closet:  

Ann:  We believe Gina has selective mutism. Her brother did, and he did well with therapy. Gina refuses. 

Me:  Gina is suffering. I think it's time for tough love. She goes to therapy or she becomes an inpatient, or some other - do this, or that happens tradeoff. Forgive me for being blunt, but hat's what I'd do. I'll reach out to Tank's OCD therapist, if you want, and see if she can recommend someone. 

Ann:  Can you and Rae come over and try to convince Gina to go to therapy? 

WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING? This was after I shared with her that we adopted Rae last year and that she sees her own therapist and is not equipped to counsel Gina.

Ann told me she drives 4 hours a day (2 hours round trip each way, is my guess) because she wants her kids to receive the eucharist. The school has daily mass, so they receive communion there. But - Gina isn't going much, if at all. Ann's spending so much on tuition and gas, and then saying she can't afford therapy with her insurance. My mind was blown. I flat out told her that I think she has her priorities confused. 

Again, none of my business but if she's gonna suck me and my kid into her situatuion, offer no info, and text me nonstop - I'm gonna share my thoughts. Plus, I told her outright - your child is suffering. Get her the help she needs. 

She told me she homeschooled until last year and Gina prefers to be home with her mom and her dog. That sounds cozy, but unhealthy if it's led to this current situation. I've been in tough situatuions myself as a mom, and making hard choices is HARD, but at the end of the day spending the entire summer knowing your kid has this issue and not seeking help is something I cannot grasp. I'm sorry if I sound harsh, but I do think there's a bit of enabling happening here. 

A few hours after our phone call, I emailed Ann the name of a therapist who is the best for selective mutism, per Tank's therapist. Ann texted me a few days later, asking if I could recommend a good Catholic family therapist. 

I asked if she reached out to the individual therapist whose name I'd gotten for her. Then I explained that while our fam therapist happens to be Catholic, I'm not relying on her to give me faith direction. If her advise ever conflicted with our faith, I'd take issue, but that's not likely. I'm willing to bet that Gina is refusing therapy and that her mom is offering family therapy as an option. Again, not my problem, family therapy might help a little, but I think it's pretty clear that Gina needs her own individual therapist. I texted back a shorter version of this.

Ann:  Prayer is great. 

Me:  Yep, prayer is great, we still need to make decisions and take action and address the issues and challenges that we are presented with. Good luck. 

I wanted to borrow a text message Mini has sent me before, although when Mini sent it she was being playful and funny, and my intention would be none of those things:  Ann, lose my number. 

A few weeks ago (before my phone call), Ann texted, asking if Rae could come over while we were at the Saturday social thing for parents of Rae's school. Gina and Rae are in the same 'house' or group at school, because of course I cannot catch a break there. Gina lives 30 min south of us. Opposite direction of the Sept 12th gathering. 

We'd have to drive Rae 30 min there, then drive a full hour to the party (30 min north/west of my house) and then after the party, we'd have to drive an hour back to her house and then drive 30 min home. Meanwhile our house was on their way to the party. I told her she was welcome to drop Gina off at our house since it was on her way to the gathering, but Rae wasn't going there.

Of course, Gina didn't come to our house. Based on the volume of texts I get from Ann, I was nervous about Sept 12th, thinking Ann would seek me out and I'd not get to talk to anyone else. Rae had been tasked with organizing Gina's homework. I brought a few papers to hand deliver to Ann. As I mentioned, we had a good time. We met another couple with kids who've gotten the Evans scholarship, and their older daughters used to Irish dance. Lots of common ground, and they were a lot of fun to chat with. 

We were walking to our car, and Coach asked me, "So was that Ann person not there?" I stopped. OMG - was she? I had no idea what she looked like. I called her cell. She was still there. I asked her to meet me out front so I could give her Gina's homework. I handed her the papers, said nice to meet you and we bolted. 

I don't know where to go from here, but if she persists in trying to suck Rae into gathering homework, I'm gonna decline. Rae has her own things to manage (last week she agreed to get Gina's books and had a vollyball game after school and  forgot and felt bad), and if Gina can't go to school, then she and her parents need to handle that situation. I've tried to offer guidance and support, but I want to wash my hands of this, aside from praying that they get her the help she needs. 

******

Not a mosquito, but here's
 a bee I trapped at
 the pool during one of our last visits.

If this was happening to you, what would you do? Have you ever met anyone who suffered from selective mutism? 

If you host an outdoor event, would you have OFF bug spary available? I got eaten alive Sat. night at the parents gathering. The invite did not mention that we would be in the backyard, which was lovely - such a beautiful evening, but BUG SPRAY, PLEASE. When we had friends over Fri night to sit on our deck, we had OFF on the table as well as those candles that repel mosquitos, and were poised to go inside if needed.

*****

RECIPES BELOW:

Sheet pan cuban chicken and black bean rice bowl.

I cannot find a link to the recipe I use for the German Streusel Cake, but this on FB looks very close. 

Below is the cut and pasted recipe that I used. I think it was just provided to me by AI, so there's no direct link. It's super easy. I didn't heat the cherries up on the stovetop, as my version didn't include this - but everything else looks exactly the same.

You can make a German cherry streusel cake (Kirschstreuselkuchen) by pressing a buttery shortcrust dough into a springform pan, adding your thickened cherry filling, and topping it with crisp crumbs. [1, 2, 3]

Ingredients

Cherry Filling: 1 can cherry pie filling, mixed with ¼ cup sugar and 1 tbsp cornstarch (simmered briefly until thickened, then cooled).
Base & Streusel Dough (Mürbeteig):
• 1 ¾ cups (230 g) all-purpose flour
• ½ cup (100 g) granulated sugar
• ½ cup (115 g) unsalted butter (cold or softened depending on your crumb style)
• 1 room-temperature egg
• 1 tsp baking powder
• 1 pinch of salt [1, 2, 3, 4]

Instructions

Prepare the Oven and Pan: Preheat your oven to 375°F (190°C). Grease a 9-inch (24 cm) springform pan and line the bottom with parchment paper. [1]
Make the Filling: In a small saucepan, combine your 1 can of cherry pie filling with the ¼ cup of sugar and 1 tbsp cornstarch. Cook over medium heat, stirring gently, until the mixture thickens up. Remove from heat and let it cool slightly. [1] ( I DIDN'T DO THIS - I JUST MIXED THE SUGAR AND THE CORNSTARCH RIGHT INTO THE CAN OF CHERRIES AND DUMPED IT INTO THE CRUST)
Make the Dough: In a large bowl, mix the flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt. Add the butter and the room-temperature egg. Mix with your hands or a pastry blender until it forms a crumbly, cohesive dough. [1, 2, 3]
Assemble the Base: Press about two-thirds of the crumb mixture firmly into the bottom and halfway up the sides of your springform pan to create a crust. [1]
Layer and Top: Pour the prepared cherry filling into the crust. Scatter the remaining one-third of the streusel crumbs evenly over the top of the cherries. [1]
Bake: Bake for 35 to 40 minutes, or until the streusel topping is golden brown and the filling is bubbling. Cool completely in the pan before slicing. [1, 2]

weekending: good eats, great shows, social time, family meal (minus college kids) & another important (exhausting) chat

*Is anyone else having this issue, or is it just me? My blog feed isn't updating. It's frozen. I realized on Friday that there was no chance that No One had written a Five for Friday. Tell me I'm not alone? Any ideas on how to fix it? 

*****

At the last minute Friday evening, I reached out to our friends who have a lake house. They're usually out of town in the summer months. They were in town and they were up for drinks on our deck if Coach was (Coach was recovering from a colonoscopy - more on that later, all routine and normal, but still it developed into a funny ha ha Coach thing). I waited for Coach to wake up from his nap, and he said sure. It was such a nice night to sit on the deck. Neighbor girls came over and hit the volleyball with Kay and Rae, and then they hung out in the basement. I told them they could eat all Dad's leftover Jello. 

Saturday night, Coach and I had a social outing organized by Rae's school. We were sort of dreading it. Her school is organized into four houses, so this was hosted by a couple with kids in Rae's house. (yes, it's similar to Harry Potter). We knew a few other couples going, but it was far away, and another family was going to be there that we hoped to avoid  (I'll post about it soon. They're not bad people, but their daughter has an issue and the mom reached out to me and it's now become 'our issue'). This couple that we wanted to avoid (we'd never met face to face, so I didn't even know who they were) hung out with other people, so it wasn't a problem. We ended up really hitting it off with another couple, who were delightful. We both had a good time. 

Then we raced home to watch an epside of Task with Mini, who'd watched the girls for us. Task is on HBO MAX and it's really good. We're enjoying it. (there's violence and it can be intesnse, so your viewing pleasure might differ). I also have a funny story about Mini's recommendation for this show. Coming soon. 

Sunday, fun day:  Coach had arranged to go golfing with the 3 older boys Sunday afternoon. I was in charge of making dinner for them afterwards. I had Mini invite one of her college besties, who lives in the city. She's from NJ, so her folks are far away. She joined us and so could Lad's GF. Ed's GF was having a spa day with her mom and her sister as a pre-wedding thing. We joked that it worked perfect - the two guests could sit in Reg and Curly's seats. 

In the morning, I told Kay to come with me on my 4.5 mile walk. If I'm being honest, I'm drained. I've been putting in a ton of effort - having lots of 'come to Jesus talks' with her.  I'm diving in, because this girl needs to connect with me. I cherish my walks. I like being alone when I workout. I wasn't sure how to broach the topic that I wanted to cover, but I figured I'd dive in as we walked. I tackled it, and I think overall it went really well. I think she 'heard' my message and that it was well received. 

Cherry struesel pie
thing. High marks from
 the gluten eaters.

(in a nutshell:  be authentic, because when the therapist comes to help us connect, if you're being fake-Kay, then we won't end up connecting, because I can't connect with fakeness. Let's dive deep and do the things, so we can get this done vs having this lady come to the house forever. I want my Thursday evenings back). 

Yes, my arm is sore from patting myself on the back. Why do you ask? 

Then I spent a few hours writing a funny story about my spring break senior year of college. As a result, I left the cooking and baking go until the last minute (do not recommed), but everything was tasty. When I made my 7 layer taco dip for the school social 'house' thing the night before, I divided it into two separate containers, so we even had an appetizer when they walked in from golf. Who even am I?

I whipped up two different desserts:  cherry struesel something or other and a plum torte. Tank was like TWO DESSERTS FROM SCRATCH? (they were so simple, really) The main dish was a fam fav that we've not eaten in forever:  Cuban Rice Chicken Bowls. (I'm crazy tired staying up past my bedtime Sunday night, but I'll post or share the recipes if anyone is interested - lmk in comments). The dinner conversation was lively and full of laughs. Reg happened to call before dinner, so we video chatted with him, passing the phone around. 

this is the sheet
pan part. I forgot
 to take a pic of it when
it was in 'bowl' form. 

Ed:  what happened to your lip? (it was just chocolate - of course it was. Reg has a habit of not wiping food off his face).

Lad:  Dude, do you know your shirt is on inside out. (some things never change)

After dinner, Lad and GF watched football with Coach and the girls, and Mini came along when I drove Ed, Tank, and Mini's friend back to their respective apartments. (an hour, 45 min round trip). Mini and I drove past a building she'd like to live in. 

Mini likes to veg and watch a show before bed, so we got home and I drafted this on my laptop while we watched an episdode of the Pitt. Great show. Highly recommend, although - I do have to look away from the screen a lot, because squeamish. It worked to have my laptop to focus on. 

*****

Did you have a good weekend? Are you struggling with your blogger feed thingy? Do you like makig last minute plans? When was the last time you dreaded a social thing that turned out being enjoyable? One of my moms is having her baby today, and we are so excited. No gender revel and names have been kept under lock and key.

Thursday: this, that, and the other: a weird walk, so much travel, rules of engagement

I'd forgotten about this weird Tuesday night thing until Coach texted me about it Wed afternoon. A sure sign that my brain is busting at the seams. 

Tuesday night Coach and I took a 30 minute walk. It was already dark. These walks are clutch. We regroup, share updates, and trouble shoot or plan out what's ahead. 

The calendar was discussed - lots of upcoming travel.

• Sept. 18th, we drive to Omaha for Reg's fraternity's parent weekend. 
• Sept. 24th, we drive to KC for our niece on Coach's side's wedding. Excited! If we feel like it all happened too fast, no fear - her little sister got engaged a few weeks ago . . . she's 24. I was surprised that they didn't wait until after this sister's wedding to get engaged. 
• We'll be back in KC for her wedding Oct. 9th '27. Curly says she won't be allowed to go to that wedding either. Hmpf. What if she uses it as a bargaining chip (before I cancel her Sept 24th flights):  WELL, SINCE THE SEPT WEDDING IS EARLIER IN OUR PRESEASON, CAN I JUST GO TO THAT ONE? Curly refuses to ask. Phoey. 

  

  We didn't travel much this summer. We hung out at our pool Sat night. Coach grilled. I made an awesome salad. The guards played 'Closing Time' which made me chuckle. Looks cool at night with the lights.

I digress.

Oct. 2nd, Creighton is hosting a parent weekend (separate from the fraternity parent weekend). 

• When Tank was there, his fraternity scheduled the frat parent weekend to coincide with the college one. Smart. 
• Oct. 2nd:  Coach is teaching a class in Oklahoma City. I've toyed with going back to Creighton. Some parents are only able to go that weekend. Tank's going Oct. 2nd. I'd have to figure out childcare for Kay and Rae, so it's not likely - unless Coach's class gets cancelled for low enrollment. 

Coach cannot keep the dates, the weekends, the plans on the horizon straight.

On our walk (you knew I'd circle back, right?), he asked for clarification. Again. He had the KC and Omaha weekends reversed. I might have to draw him a picture.

Oh, and then the Niece's wedding on my side is Oct. 17th. We RSVP'd. Coach, Tank, Mini, and I are going. Mini isn't thrilled. I didn't force her. I encouraged her to go, esp. because Tank's going. Ultimately she feared not going would look like a boycott, sending the wrong message to the other cousins, possibly impacting  future wedding invites. 

Me:  This won't be an intimate dinner party, so the tension should be  diluted. 

I texted Tank, Mini, and Coach - asking them which entree they preferred for the RSVP, which is now an online thing, did you know that's how it's done now? 

Mini:  Doesn't matter what we order. They'll poison our food regardless.

I died laughing. Yes, I will bring my epi-pen, why do you ask? 

Anyway - Coach and I were walking back to our house after our loop - with me hoping the calendar confusion isn't indicating early onset dementia. Loud footsteps. I glanced over my shoulder. A guy was pounding along on his walk, like maybe 12 feet behind us. 

Why? 

Seemed like he'd pass us. But he didn't. Why didn't he cross the street? I looked behind me again, and recognized him. It was Curly's good friend's dad. 

He wasn't being funny, about to say, 'Hey guys,' or 'Boo'. He's an odd dude. So it was on-brand, but Super Strange. He was behind us, probably further down the street when we popped off of the trail that cuts across the golf course. We landed on the street ahead of him, but we didn't see him, because we turned toward our house. There wasn't a soul in the neighborhood out walking, but us. Once he saw us, why not cross the street, or say hi? Since we were almost at the corner where we would turn, Coach refused to cross the street. 

Coach's text today:  Does it feel like Mr. N is still following you? I keep looking over my shoulder to see if he's still there. 

******

Any upcoming travel plans or busy schedules causing confusion? Ed's been told no proposal during his gf's sister's 18 mo engagement. I feel like he could've proposed if it was 5 months or more before the upcoming sister's wedding (happens to be the same date as one of our cousin's weddings, so it's soon). Ed was not bothered by the time restrictions, but I felt like it was silly. Then again, I couldn't believe that the 2nd cousin got engaged so close to her sister's wedding. I'm assuming they're all fine with it, which is all that matters. Do you believe/or have you dealt with 'rules' like that?  Has anyone walked too close or freaked you out while walking in the hood?

Daycare Doody: update on the apparent 'no boys allowed' daycare (plus rare photo that will disappear soon)

Joymarie's recent comment:  We haven't heard anything about the daycare:  

Me:  No news is good news.

Seeing as good news beats crutches in lakes, broken phone screens, and fears of infectious cuts, I give you . . .

Daycare Doody:  update on all things daycare

story time on a Monday (Kay was still home, so she snapped this)

My current crowd:  5 families - kind, grateful, and not demanding - making my job enjoyable. Whether we adventure out in GW (so far we haven't - corralling this young crowd is mind blowing), venture out to the swing set, record videos of the littles dancing, the parents will be thrilled. 

Fertile Myrtles. Remember when the family that had a daughter 'Denise' who turned 2 in Aug '25 welcomed identical twins Sept. 23rd? This year, Denise (now 3) comes Tues/Thurs, opposite preschool. Her twin sisters (almost 1) come Mon-Thurs. 

I have Fridays off. Can I get an 'amen' on how my four day work week is the best form of self-care I could treat myself to?

Two sisters:  Two women, Maggie & Carin, are sisters who I babysit for, and they are both expecting in the fall. 

We go Way Back.  They attended the same grade school as our older gang - a bit older than Lad. Sitting for families I knew many moons ago beats starting out with strangers. Both sisters also happened to attend the same college as me. I'm not sure when I'll retire - a question I tossed around when Birchie and Kyria visited, but I'm thinking I'll ride the wave of good-times and happy-vibes with these current families and retire when they no longer need my services. 

Carin, who has a 16 month old, is due in a few weeks, and Maggie, who has a 2 yo, is due with another girl in late Oct. Maggie's 2 yo shares the same IRL first name as Curly. At Chez Shenanigan her little goes by 'Baby Curly'. My daughter, who babysits for Baby Curly in our house in the summers because her mom is a vice principal with some summer hours, answers to 'Big Curly'. Baby Curly is the one who gifted a candle to Big Curly after removing her dirty diaper during a nap and stinking up Big Curly's room.

I'll have a slower few months while the sisters are on maternity leave. They might do some drop in days for their 'big littles' to hang with friends. I hope they do. 

Newbies:  In Feb. '26, I had two different moms text me randomly ten minutes after one another. 

Me:  IS SOMEONE PRANKING ME? 

Because, c'mon. What are the chances? Both women had /were about to have a baby. They each had a tot who graduated from my care the year prior. 

One of the moms, while a lovely person, was demanding and left me feeling like I was walking on eggshells. No space for both, so I declined the demanding mom. In August, I welcomed the baby sister of the kid who went viral for saying "WTF?" when he opened his Happy Meal toy. (I think I shared this clip before). 

Daycare gender math isn't hard:  if you're paying attention, this adds up to 6 girls - plus one new baby girl due in Oct. The gender of Carin's baby is TBD.  

On the way out:  On Mondays, I also have a family with an 18 mo old boy and a 3 yo girl. They've whittled down their needs from 3x a week three years ago to 1x. It's too hard to work other families around a one-day a week schedule, so I've fit them on Mondays until the maternity leaves end. Translation:  token boy is temporary. I felt bad parting ways, but I cannot cater to a family that takes up two spots one day a week. The mom understood my conundrum.

Stay tuned to see if I will I maintain a No Boys Allowed Club?  

Waiting list:  I've never turned away so many people asking for a spot. My friend, Becky, who also cares for teachers' kids, is experiencing the same thing. What's happening? If I were an octopus - or was able to clone myself, I'd have wall-to-wall littles here and would rake in the dough. 

Discount:  The WTF parents are very young. They're living with his folks, trying to save for a house. Since they don't drop off Baby C until 9 am, (others arrive at 7:20), I can sometimes load the quad stroller and go for a walk.

I texted them a special pricing deal over the weekend. They didn't ask for it, but Coach and I agree, lowering their price by $60/week was the right thing to do. They need to save their money more than I do. 

Big and Baby Curly chats:  Sometimes I video chat Big Curly, so Baby Curly can see her. It's the cutest. Over the summer she started referring to our house as:  'Ernie Curly house' vs. 'Ernie house.' Now at drop off she says 'Ernie house' and then she says 'Curly on school bus.' 

That's gonna be one long-ass bus ride. 

*****

I'm posting this on Labor Day, a day off from the tiny cutey pies in my life. I'm excited for my 3 day work week.  This morning in addition to wrapping up this post, I'll be attending my fav workout class (hoping I can go to it regularly when I retire. I attend on Monday holidays and summer break. It's so hard). I also plan to cut Coach's hair. What's on your agenda for the day off?

"What's wrong with these kids?" Tank (forgetting the tongue stitches, are we?)

Saturday morning, Reg called. He was in the Ozarks for his fraternity's formal. 

Reg:  I'm fine. I didn't do anything stupid.  

Use your imagination here as to why we've had multiple  DON'T BE STUPPID conversations. Clue:  alcohol. 

Reg:  I got here Friday. Walked into the lake and stepped on a rock. I'm on my way to urgent care right now , because it's so painful today and I feel like there might be a piece of a rock still in it. This sucks, because I might be there a long time and I wanna have fun with my friends. 

I was confused - Was he going for an x-ray - did he think he broke a bone? Or was it all about a cut? He explained it's a cut and that the nursing students had all looked at it and they thought it would be fine.

Me:  Keep me posted. 

(I was in NYC, more later) Mini and I went for a walk in Brooklyn on a gorgeous day.

BUT:  My mind was distracted. Remember Mini's roomie Kate? Who got a staph infection and almost lost her life or her leg? Urgent care had handed her an anti-inflammatory for her knee scrape, not realizing she was in bad shape. 

Reg called a few hours later. They gave him one stitch, a shot in his butt for pain, a few shots in his foot, and pills to take. I requested that he send Coach a pic of his discharge papers, so we'd know what meds they prescribed, and suggested he drink next to nothing. 

*****

Backing up the bus:  this summer Reg got a new phone when his ancient one died. He didn't put a screen protector on it. Dropped it a few days later. The screen was a web of cracks. I insisted he replace the screen. He claims he didn't have a screen protector on his last phone.

Tell me you have memory issues, without telling me you have memory issues. 100% he had a screen protector on his last phone.  

He took it to the U-BREAK-WE-FIX place near our house while we were in SC. New screen $220. Now, he informed me that his screen was black and he could see nothing - less than 2 weeks later. 

*****

Now, we couldn't reach him. He borrowed kids' phones to call us. He had crutches but couldn't get to the other house where his friends were hanging out. No one could drive him, because they were all drunk. Couldn't Uber, because his phone . . . 

Me:  I'm sorta on a small vacation. Ask someone to call you an Uber and pay them back. I'm most concerned about the foot. If you spike a fever, or start vomiting . . .

He did a decent job of keeping in touch, but we never got the discharge papers and I struggled to sleep Saturday night. Thank you, racing-Mom-mind syndrome. 

Sunday morning, I suggested to Coach that we ask Tank to reach out to the older fraternity brothers for intel about the urgent care, etc. Coach was hesitant.

Me:  What if this is the perfect storm? We'll regret not reaching out, if this goes south and we were out of the loop b/c of his damn phone. 

Tank gladly accepted his role:  I probably knew about the bloody foot before you did. My fraternity brothers text me stuff. 

Tank provided Coach with the urgent care number. Coach got the deets. Reg was on an antibiotic and they could tell that he'd picked it up. Progress. 

I kept focusing on how damn much it hurt. Kate couldn't cope with her pain and it didn't add up for this small cut that she'd gotten. 

Reg called when they were driving back to Omaha Sunday late morning:  It still hurts a lot, and I can't walk, because some drunk idiot tossed one of my crutches in the lake and we couldn't find it.

When I relayed this to Tank:  What's wrong with these kids?

Uh, how soon they forget. Raise your hand if you remember Tank almost biting off his tongue falling off a fence while retrieving his fraternity's rock.

Reg went to the Verizon store in Omaha - they were gonna charge him $800 for a new phone. 

Me:  Nope. Wait till tomorrow when We Break It opens. 

Monday morning my kid emailed us. He was unraveling. He had no phone. Was tired of borrowing phones. His foot hurt so much (I assume because he had to walk on it). He'd gone to health services to get crutches, but since he couldn't prove that he'd been in an urgent care (no phone to show an email, receipt, etc.) they wouldn't give him any. (You shoulda shown them your stitches.) He was missing texts for his b-ball manager job. It was taking him so long to get to class, because of difficulty walking. 

I stepped into high gear, calling the nurse, who gave me her personal cell number last year when Reg had seizure symptoms. She could get him crutches. I created a group chat using all the numbers that Reg called me on. "Creighton kid #1, Creighton kid #2 . . ." There were 6 of them. I texted the group, introducing myself, and asking one of them to pick up the crutches, giving directions for where to go on campus. Reg got the crutches. (note to self:  bring cookies to this kid in a few weeks when we go for parents' weekend)

Reg went to the U BREAK WE'LL OVERCHARGE U place, and they fixed his phone for another $200. 

Meanwhile, Lad dealt with the local WE FIX STUFF place that had done a lousy job replacing Reg's screen. (no one has broken more phones than Lad, and he knows a thing or two about how to promise to leave a 1 star review). He demanded they reimburse the $220 following the crap job they did. Let's just say, Lad called me after he got them to pay the piper, asking WHAT'S NEXT? 

Best of all - Reg's foot is healing. I'll refrain from showing photos, but it looks so much better and he thinks he can walk again today or tomorrow. 

*****
In other good news, Kay started school Tuesday. We made it through the summer. I woke up Friday (my day off) knowing I'd be gone all weekend. I was bound and determined to do something special with her. I called a yarn store to see if we could get private lessons on crocheting. Didn't work that last minute, but back burner for another time. She and I went to mass Friday, followed by lunch, and time in the Maker Studio at the library, where she did an etching (burned image) and a carved name thing on a piece of wood for $4. She told the therapist Monday that it was one of her favorite days she's spent with me.

tracking down abroad friends & no, I didn't intend to drop a baby on 'home soil'

When my brother, Pat, got married in Ireland in 2002, Coach, Lad, Ed, and I stayed with my former classmate, Aisling's parents near Dublin. Aisling was a bridesmaid in my wedding. 

*As students, Pat teased Aisling (whose name is pronounced Ash-ling, but the g is sorta silent, I guess) that her name should be Shling based on the spelling, so we all called her Shling. They all called me Rin, claiming that my real name was the same name as a certain country, IYKYK, which wasn't a name at all, thus Rin.

Anyway, at the time of Pat and Aunt Leprechaun's wedding, I was enormously pregnant with what would be a 10 lb 3 oz baby Tank. I was only like 29 weeks pregnant, but I looked like I was carrying twins or Godzilla's lovechild. The Aer Lingus staff almost didn't let me on the plane, because they believed I was about to deliver. 

Imagine a Lucky Charms voice, spoken with a head tilt similar to a nod but done on an angle, chin to one side, forehead opposing directions (yes, it's a very specific thing cute Irish men do, sort of like a compliment and it's the sweetest gesture ever):  

"Ya tryin' te half dat babe on home soil now?"

Me:  No, I am not. I just have large babies with big Irish heads.

Shling's folks gave us an entire floor of their house and we settled in for a few days with our littles (Lad and Ed) until they adjusted to the time difference. Her parents had also stayed with my folks when they came to the States. 

I'd not kept in touch with my other friends, but after I dug up my journal and started pouring over the photos in my abroad album - I found a few of the other girls who were part of our group. Two of them (Shling and Yvette) had stayed with my parents the summer after I graduated college. They worked as waitresses at the country club where my brothers and Coach (at that point he was just my brother's friend - we weren't dating) caddied. If you've seen Caddyshack, the movie, then you know that the waitress who dates the main character, Danny, is from Ireland. All summer we joked that we were recreating Caddyshack. 

AI told me that my friend Niamh teaches school near her hometown. It shared the name of the school. She'd never married, so I went to the school's website, found her email address, and sent her a message:  Did you attend Maynooth in 1992 and hang out with an American everyone called Rin? 

Within minutes, she emailed me back:  Hey Rin, you found me. 

We exchanged a few emails, and then moved on to Whatsapp. She's from county Mayo. They'd just won the Gaelic soccer championship for the first time in like 50 years, so she sent me videos of them celebrating with their elderly dad. So fun. Her dad was quite the character. 

I found Yvette on FB, and we messaged back and forth a bit too. 

Tank just admitted that he wants to get back over to Ireland to visit Shling's folks. He stayed with them the year he studied abroad (just for a visit - he was in Limerick - they are not far from Dublin). I do hope to get to a handful of Curly's games, but dang - I'm getting the itch to go back for a visit too. I can meet up with Niamh and Vettie, and Shling. 

I was gonna share this in the upcoming 'look what I found in the boys' room' post, but it fits here. Tank bought a piece of the Berlin Wall when he was abroad. He stayed with Shling's parents and showed his touristy purchase to her dad, Hector. Hector found it very funny. How would Tank know if this was indeed from the Berlin Wall? When Tank arrived home, he found a rock in his bag. He couldn't figure it out, but I knew right away. Hector! He wrote 'Rock of Cahsel' (a famous castle in Ireland) on it in sharpie. I love that he pulled this prank on Tank.

****

Where would you like to revisit, or just plain visit? Anyone have a good nickname from college or childhood days? Also, I was in NYC this weekend. I sat down to draft a post and my mind went blank. This was in my drafts. Feel free to remind me, what are some of the posts or updates I've been promising?