interrupting my original post, because *SET BACK CITY* & party recap

*this post will make more sense if you read how Kay's summer was shaping up, plus if you missed that post - you missed a hilarious, short clip from the grad video*

While I was working on today's post yesterday afternoon, Curly popped into the study. She's friends with the head coach of the girls' swim team. Her friend attended the grad party and mentioned in passing that Kay brings donuts to practice MOST mornings. 

Come again? 

Curly was like, WHAT? ARE YOU SURE? LIKE ONE TIME . . . OR MORE THAN ONCE?

Yep, sure. Multiple times.

Coach and I asked Kay if she'd spent the money she's been earning weeding on anything.

(SKIP BACKGROUND IF YOU'VE BEEN HERE LONG - YOU KNOW THIS STUFF)

*background:  days before the adoption was finalized 9/2025, we caught Kay walking to the gas station on the corner buying candy. LOTS of candy. Had been doing this for ages. We'd found dozens of wrappers under her bed. She lied that a girl at school had been giving her candy at lunch. She ended up with 3 cavities. 

A few summers ago, we caught the girls riding bikes to Starbucks - crossing busy streets, not wearing a helmet, and buying themselves drinks with birthday money, etc. So, I kept their money in an envelope in my room, and got money out for them as needed. One day, I was in a rush. I left the envelopes on my dresser vs tucking them back under clothes in one of my drawers. Kay went into my room to get a laundry basked, saw the money, and took some of it. 

When Rae wanted to begged to attend a small Catholic High School, we told her that we'd not been able to afford private high school for the older kids. If she wanted to go there, she'd have to earn money and contribute to tuition. She caddies. Keeps a small manila envelope in her kitchen drawer. She methodically writes down the date, who she caddied for, and how much she made. She has been incredibly responsible. 

She understands (and this is something we explained at nauseum to both girls) that we save our money. We've pointed out that if Dad and I hadn't saved our money, we wouldn't have this house, or money for shoes and clothes, etc. At the end of the summer, we told Rae we were proud of how hard she worked and we let her choose something to buy. end of background*

The girls ride their bikes to swim team. It's a mile away. They cross one main road at a light. Totally doable and life-giving that I don't have to race back and forth to drop off/pick up.

Last night, when confronted, Kay admitted that she'd spent money one time. Coach was like, Better to be honest and tell us the whole thing. Do not lie. 

Kay tweaked her tale: Well, I bought the same ONE thing, three times. She stops at a bakery in a strip mall that's near swim practice. Bought 3 donuts, 3 times. (Rae was a counselor at a camp this week, and slept there - so didn't attend swim, plus Kay just finished summer school last week - so this was her first full week of swim team, thus the 3 days). She shared the extras with coaches, or other girls on the team. Please understand, this is not about the amount of money, or how nice that she's sharing. 

Most of the people she works for send me money. It's easy to earmark that money for her, because those are not people I babysit for - so the only reason they Zelle me is to pay Kay. There are a few elderly ladies who give her cash. 

When I realized some people were paying her cash, I told Kay that she'd have to give us the money to save for her. But I didn't stop what I was doing to say GO GET ME THE MONEY. It came up again, and I asked her where the money was. In an envelope in her kitchen drawer. 

Again, I said - well, we need to watch that for you, but I didn't insist. She gave me her eye-rollie look, as if I was mistreating her, not treating her the same way I treat Rae. I thought to myself, well she should be able to keep it in her drawer. Rae's set a good example and Kay has seen how Rae has done well this way. She can do this. 

Kay knows:  money she earns is to contribute for school transportation.  

OK, didn't expect this post to be so long (I'll share next time the bit about adoption preservation therapist who just quit and new one starting later today, HELLO TIMING). 

Bottom line, I wept when Kay told us what she was up to. I hollered. Thrashed. Pulled on what little hair is left in my balding head. The new adoption pres. therapist called to introduce herself late last week,  setting up today's appointment. I shared a brief background. Then I said:  

BUT THINGS HAVE BEEN BETTER. THINGS ARE IMPROVING, WE'RE WORKING TO BUILD TRUST. 

I'm so frustrated. I told Kay it's like I just ran my 4.5 mile run, couldn't wait to be done. Got home, and found out I had to start all over again, but run the 4.5 miles up hill without shoes on. We are STARTING OVER. AGAIN. 

We worry about long term issues. Kay has not met an impulse she hasn't taken. What will she do when confronted with more pressing impulses? Get pregnant? Try drugs? 

I'm angry. I'm exhausted. I'm assuming I'll never connect with her. How does one connect with someone that you do not trust? Someone who is so damn sneaky/unauthentic? It's mind blowing.

********

Party prep Friday night.

The party:  the weather was perfect. Not too hot - we missed a heat wave by 1 day. People raved about the food. We served BBQ pork, BBQ chicken, mac & cheese in a crockpot *minus a dozen extra cups of milk*, cornbread, pumpkin bread, homemade potato salad, sweet and sour green bean casserole, and a chopped salad from Portillos. Loads of fun people attended. Lively conversation. Lots of laughter at the video. I had a good hair day. Curly wore a cute new dress that arrived in the mail the day before (info on our shopping spree in my next post). I wore a new dress that I bought for $14. A handful of grownups stayed late, so when I could finally sit and chat - there were fun people to hang with. 

There were a few downsides (I'm looking at you Cowboy Caviar that never left the fridge even though I doubled it), but overall - the kids claim this was our best party to date. 

My relax-after-party mode is feeling less-relaxy and more like Must be Vigilant with Kay, spend more time in family therapy, rinse, repeat. You know? 

****

What's frustrating you on this Monday? 

Party prep, Kay's summer, & a networking event thru the lens of caddying & 'good ole days' video clip

Friends, I do hope to get into a better read blogs, comment on blogs, post stuff habit . . . eventually. This is not that week.

I'm hosting book club Thursday evening. I'm throwing together a charcuterie board and making a cake (probably a gf German cherry streusel cake & a glutenous one, because it was mentioned in The Correspondent - our book). This will double as Lad's b-day cake if he stops by. 

June 25th is, after all, Lad's 28th birthday. How on earth do I have a son that old?

Then . . . Saturday is the grad party. I'm in that weird 'I feel like things are shaping up' pre-party stage, which is just my mind messing with me. I'll soon be in panic mode, realizing that no matter what I do - the clutter Freaking out that I can't feed 65 people (only thing I'm catering is the Portillo's chopped salad, reminder to self:  order that!). 

Until then, I'm following my to do list which states:  write a blog post. 

Party prep:  

• I have so many lists - a Costco run, a regular grocery run, things that still need to be cleaned. 
• I made two crockpot versions of mac & cheese on Tuesday, and the fam did a taste test. Most liked version one, but preferred the consistency of the other. Perhaps one crockpot heated faster, or maybe the noodles (different brand) were better. 
• I worked from 6 am - 10 am Tuesday morning correcting fixes on Curly's grad movie, which meant I had to redo all the music. Deleting, adding, etc. messes up the music. I had to pay attention to the bits where I had to fade the music in order to hear the video's audio. I added scene markers and a menu yesterday. I'm making as many copies as my computer will agree to burn. 

Video excerpt recorded from my tv, thus grainy. It's more fun sped up/slowed down. Can't do if I upload from my computer. It's a decent summary of the good ole days.

Kay's summer:  

• She just wrapped up 3 weeks of summer school. Took a bus there and back, despite a snafu on the first day when they didn't have her on the bus route. I assume that was because the original class was cancelled/the schedule changed. I begged, and they got her added for day 2. 
• editing to add:  I almost forgot, she's also volunteering at Safety Village for a few hours for 3 different weeks.
• In late May, she handed out flyers promoting her availability to weed, mow lawns, and walk dogs. She has a couple of regular gigs.
• Since she's been diagnosed with complex PTSD, and horses are healing for people with PTSD, I reached out to a nearby barn that works with handicapped children, offering adaptive rides, etc. Kay volunteers there on Mondays from 2:00-6:00, grooming horses, learning to lead horses, and caring for other animals too. She loves it. 
• She's not going to the same high school as Rae (we still don't have a ride sorted out), but I know other moms who have rising freshman daughters from Rae's school. Great families, raising sweet, kind girls. One of the families has 3 bio kids and adopted 2 sibling sets internationally:  a total of 11 kids. They have 3 daughters close in age to Kay. When I explained Kay's challenge in not having friends, the other moms began including her in get togethers with their daughters. 7 of them were here last night, playing volleyball, snacking, and believe it or not - watching the Curly movie. Coach and I:  'This might not interest them.' We suggested a game with the movie in the background - but they were glued to it. I heard them chatting/Kay providing background, etc. Lots of laughter, so whatever. 
• My good friend owns horses. She's into barrel racing. I reached out to her, looking for more ways for Kay to volunteer mucking out stalls, or grooming horses, etc. She connected me with Emily, a woman she knows who attends rodeos. Emily's husband had to start working weekends, and she needed someone to go with her to rodeos to watch her two little boys:  5 & 3. Kay hangs out in the living quarters for 15-30 min while Emily rides. I drove Kay to meet Emily & the boys in early June @ an hour away. Before we left the 5 yo asked Kay, "Would it be OK if I hold your hand." Both boys held her hands as we walked to the car. So sweet. Last Friday, I met Emily 10 min from my house. Kay hopped in her truck and off they went. We met again Sunday morning. Kay LOVED it, and made $100. Coach and I feel like maybe we should be paying Emily. Next rodeo assignment:  July 3rd -4th. Kay's over the moon. 

Mini:  this is what Kay needs - some personality collateral . . . experiences that will give her things to talk about, etc. 

Not gonna lie, I'm patting myself on the back for finding things to keep Kay busy, have her earn a few bucks, meet friends, experience new things. She's grateful for all of it too. In other words, I'm surviving (she still frustrates me - has to read books for her new school, and flits around in her spare time. I'm like Hey, do what you want, but stop complaining that the new school is gonna be too hard for you if you don't do what's expected). 

Caddy lens networking:

• Mini is looking for a job. She's had some phone calls this week, setting up interviews, etc. I really thought she was gonna get a NYC job she interviewed for a few weeks ago, but she didn't. It sounded like relationship building - getting to know a client that the financial institution was doing/trying to do business with. Mini is so engaging and entertaining. The interview went really well. They so enjoyed her stories of caddying, study abroad, etc. They hired someone with more experience. *sigh*
• Mini attended an Evan's thing one night this week in the city. The person who ran it was not a gifted public speaker. Mini described how this leader of the event introduced each segment - I believe with accompanying slides. "We'll call this teeing up your shot, you'll eat pizza and mingle, get to know some of the professionals here." That was followed by 'carrying the bag down the fairway' (or something) - maybe fact finding/picking the brains of the participants, and finally:  'getting your scorecard signed' which was explained as the opportunity to get contact info and to follow up with thank you notes, etc. OMG Mini's re-enactment of the extended metaphor and how unnecessary it was to have the comparisons spelled out made me cackle. I told her she could write for SNL. I'm not kidding. 

Mini:  The most concerning part may have been that the other caddies didn't seem to find the ongoing caddying metaphor irritating. 

*****

I have much more to share. I'm listening to your posts while I'm on the go, cooking, baking, cleaning. I put them in my speechify app, but I don't always come back to comment. I'll be poolside one day soon with more time on my hands. AI tells me I should prep 15 lbs of mac and cheese and 24 lbs of BBQ meat. I cannot make that much food, esp not the mac and cheese. Here's hoping no one leaves here hungry. 

I had a rough weekend last weekend - crossing paths at my folks' house with my sister Marie, followed closely by my dad's favoritism with grandkids (Mini is top-tier - BUT doesn't matter, the inequity burns me up). I'll share more later. It dregs up the frustrations from my childhood. To coin a phrase from my friend Colleen at Martin Family Moments, 'I'm a warrior for justice'. This crap doesn't sit well with me. 

Encounter any extended metaphors that were like nails on a chalkboard?

Mini's Mac & Cheese Debacle, plus: crowd sourcing crockpot mac & cheese and BBQ chicken/pork recipes

Posting on a Sunday? I wrote this morning, so Why wait? especially when time is of the essence when I'm crowd sourcing your recipes. Happy Dad's Day to all. 

Timing Was Off                                                                                 Mini offered to research a crockpot mac and cheese recipe and make it, so we could see if it would work for the party. Curly has voted for the BBQ menu. I was in the study locked into my video project. At 1:30 in the afternoon, I asked Mini if she still planned to make the mac and cheese. 

The leftovers don't LOOK bad,
but looks can be deceiving.
This is my biggest crockpot.
Hate to waste all this food
when groceries are so pricey.

Mini:  Well it's not like we're gonna eat at 4:30.

Me:  What? You still have to go to the store and make the food. It's not gonna be ready by 4:30. At this rate, it won't be ready by 6 pm.

Mini decided to triple the recipe. I was not consulted, as I would've said - no, that would've been too much for how many people we have at home. She begged me to let her put shredded packaged cheese in the crockpot even though the recipe called for freshly shredded cheese. 

Fun fact:  Mini goes bananas when I use the phrase 'the recipe calls for'. Why exactly? Not exactly a phrase I've coined. 

I told her No, if recipe says to grate cheese - then do that. I had her buy a grater at the store. The one I have is tiny, like a handheld deal I inherited from my grandma probably. I don't grate a lot of cheese. 

Add a Little Skin for Good Measure

Fast forward an hour:  she's grating the cheese in the kitchen and I hear her from the study - OUCH, SHIT THAT HURTS. 

I went running. "Did you cut yourself?" Yes, she sure did. She grated her thumb, which the recipe does not call for. We ended up shaking the last bit of cheese from the grater, figuring there was a chunk of her skin in there. Mini and I both have vaso vagel issues, translation:  we pass out easily. I helped bandage her up and we survived. I grated the remaining bit of cheese.

Fast forward another few hours:  

Mini:  Mom, come look. Why is it SO soupy?

I had no idea/was unfamiliar with the recipe. It looked like a big crockpot full of milk. I stirred it up, and suggested she bump it to high vs low, but shrugged and went back to the study as I was A WOMAN ON A MISSION. 

Proportionally Challenged

Mini popped into the study:  So, I went back to my calculations. And, um . . . I now know what I did. I miscalculated the milk and I put in more than I should've. Like a LOT more. 

Me:  Seriously? How is that possible? Like you had one thing to do. Why is THIS so hard for you? (my FIL said this to my BIL when he went golfing with FIL for the first time and it is a go-to quote in our family).

She later admitted that she multiplied something times 5 (I cannot for the life of me relay the route she took to get to where she was, but it had something to do with how she decided to use a 2 cup measuring cup, so she divided something by 2 and maybe multiplied by 5 but - see, since we're talking numbers, it makes zero sense). 

Brace yourself:  she believes she added 17 cups of milk instead of, like 7-8.

I'm no math wizard by any stretch, but I like math and I don't know how this tripped her up. She was using her calculator app on her phone. I can't even find the calculator app on my phone, and I've never screwed up when multiplying the ingredients in a recipe. 

Mini took calc in high school. I babysat for her calc teacher's twins and we are still friends. That teacher once told me that she knew when she needed to reteach the lesson, if Mini had questions. 

All that to say:  Mini is no fool. She's really bright. The mystery of why her brain becomes scrambled eggs in the kitchen is about as clear as the gallon of milk that had noodles floating in it in the crockpot that evening. 

The Result

She siphoned off the excess milk, but with it went all the seasonings and a lot of cheese. Guess who was grateful to NOT be able to eat gluten that day? The reviews were:  this is really bland, and (Mini's) "It's like eating a bowl of cereal but with noodles." Rae liked it, but she loves mac and cheese - it's one of her favs. I've been forcing everyone to eat some of it all week. 

Me:  put extra cheese on it, because I'm not wasting all of this. 

This was the siphoning
process. Damage done.

Most of it is still in the pot and will soon be tossed. The crazy thing is she started discussing what to do for in order to dodge potential difficulties for the party. What? I cleared that up in a hurry:  you will not be prepping any food for the party. 

It hit me the next night -  after the video burned to a DVD and we all rejoiced. Mini and I were sitting in the family room. We just started watching Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Funny sitcom from ions ago. Enjoying it.

Anyway, I began convulsing with laughter, saying "Wait, how do you add 17 CUPS OF MILK to anything and NOT think, this is not right?" I was rocking back and forth, tears streaming down my face. It was a bit of a delayed reaction. I mean, we all laughed at her in the moment, but C'MON. 17 vs 7?

Something else cropped up the next day. Something with 17 and 7 as numbers, and Mini says:  I'm feeling targeted by the numerology here. 

She has other skills.
Mini made this
 horse for Kay's 14th bday on
 the 18th. Why horses?
 Info on what she's up
 to this summer to follow.
To be clear - she did not
 bake the cake. We're wise
 to her shortcomings.

HELP - IT IS ALMOST GO TIME:  

The real bummer is that we still need to select a mac and cheese recipe for the party. I like the idea of making it in a crockpot, but I can make it in a casserole dish, etc. Please, please - I'm banking on someone having a great mac and cheese recipe that I can make for Saturday's party. I'm under a time crunch and wondering if I should fall back on my pasta/Italian beef menu. Also, do you have a fav crockpot BBQ chicken or pork recipe? I think the chicken one that I've used before will be fine, but is there an Outstanding recipe that I'm unaware of? 

I made BBQ chicken in crockpot yesterday and ran into an issue. I didn't start it until the afternoon - so cooked it on high vs low (recipe says that's fine). I
 used boneless chicken breast for Costco and they are Huge. When I tried to shred it, it did not shred. I had to remove the enormo breasts and cut them up. Eek. I can use the Perdue chicken breasts I usually buy at my grocery store and I can cook it on low. Should be fine. I can also cook the meat on Friday, so that the shredding is done in advance and I can plug it in on warm on Saturday. Should I also do a crockpot of BBQ pulled pork? I have a tasty recipe. The only issue is that sometimes the pork that I get doesn't shred, it cooks more like something I need to saw into. But! AI says pork shoulder works best as pulled pork and I can def use that instead of the supreme pork loin I was buying. 

*****

If you're done laughing at this fun chapter in the Life with Mini series, please offer your recipe links or tips, etc. Mac and cheese? BBQ chicken? BBQ pork? Thoughts on the cornbread:  should I do run of the mill muffins from the box, or should this be served warm - also seeing crockpot recipes out there with creamed corn included, etc.? Doesn't sound taxing and I do have a fleet of crockpots ready and willing. Have you watched 'Always Sunny in Philadelphia'?

the Curly Chronicles (movie for her grad party) update, a stolen car, and Mini's mac & cheese

It's done. I survived the tedious task of compiling the best clips and photos into a video to be shown at Curly's grad party. I blame my middle child status (very few photos of me) for the reason I've recorded an overwhelming number of Shenanigan videos and photos. 

Because I've been a mom since before cameras were on phones stored in a back pocket, I have footage and photos stored in negatives, on hard drives, iPads, camcorders, and phones. It's a lot to track and while I'm great at remembering the camera, I'm not great at knowing where the evidence of my photo-snapping lands once downloaded. 

Curly's video is the longest one yet. I felt like she had seen all the 'usual' footage. Most family funnies incorporate all of the kids, so those are overplayed. I hunkered down and watched hours of videos.

Unrelated:  this is a pic
of a children's book
that I keep on hand
for the tots. Of
 course they picked at
 the 'poop' part. 

Fav clip I unearthed:  Curly and Mini (who is dressed as an angel as we were about to leave for Christmas Eve mass) spin around, dancing in the family room as soft Christmas music plays. Ed crawls behind the couch to throw things at his sisters, and  Coach is heard, but not seen, dealing with the riff raff in the kitchen. He was oblivious to me filming, or was he? - as he hollers at various boys. People, it is a true snapshot of our family life and we died laughing remembering the good ole days, or more accurately the nutty, chaotic days. I plan to share the video here, once I overcome my aversion to being in the study . . . I'm typing this on my laptop in the kitchen. 

In the final version, I used transitions, slow motion, fast motion, titles, overlays, crawling text, etc. and set it all to music. Who even am I? Well, I'm tired, but SO HAPPY that it's done. We watched the movie tonight and there's a few things I'll fix before burning additional copies.  

While I was editing it:  On Friday we had a power outage for a few minutes. Even though I'd saved it - the video reverted back to an earlier version and I lost hours of work. That sucked. A few days prior the software got angry and shut down unexpectedly. (again it was saved repeatedly and it autosaves). Again, hours of work lost. 

It's been an ordeal, is what I'm saying. I stayed the course - ignored all other tasks, barely slept, and skipped workouts for the last 2 days (that usually only happens if I'm traveling or puking), but the glorious hum of the DVD burning and the family laughter as we watched it . . . all worth it. Curly is tickled, and I'm tuckered. 

In other news:  

• Thugs stole Lad's car from in front of his girlfriend's house. Her neighborhood is safer than his. Guess how they did it? They used a tow truck, posing as normal activity. The police located his car, but his golf clubs and his bodhran (Irish drum) are gone. He has important work papers in there, that while scattered around the car - he hopes to get back. He's not gotten the car back yet - it's awaiting insurance to check it out.
• Mini cooked dinner again - and her track record STANDS. This time her culinary challenges exceeded anything we thought possible. Deets in my next post.

*****

What else (aside from Mini's lack of meal prep skills) do you feel like I need to fill you in on? I've got loads of backlog stories, but tell me - is there a story you've been waiting to hear about? 

Monday mishaps (aka ef-ups that don't necessarily happen on a Monday) & crowd sourcing grad party menu

I'm taking a much needed break from editing the movie I'm making for Curly's grad party in order to draft this post. I'm so far behind in sharing updates with you. My brain is scattered, so I'll start with ef-ups . . . it seems to be our natural state. 

Unrelated photo:
Rae fell asleep on the couch Sat.
night after an exhausting day of
caddying. Reg and Tank
piled things on her to see how
 long till she'd wake up. 

Grad movie update:  I recorded so many clips over the years that sifting thru them, and editing is a lot. By viewing almost every video file saved on my poor, overtasked hard drive, I've stumbled on a few gems. (I've paused watching Curly's basketball games, fearing my eyes might bleed. Lordy, the number of games I lugged my trusty camcorder to. . . it's staggering).

Videos of family chaos and mayhem show up in each of the kids' grad movies, so I went in search of stuff that we've not seen in years. Like I said, gems. 

I'm banking on my desktop plugging along and agreeing to burn this thing to a DVD. 

                                                                                ******

I could fill pages of mess-ups. But here's a start: 

The Hiding Hoodie:  Curly was distraught a few months ago. Her state hoodie from her soph. year was missing. Coach and I have the same hoodie in different sizes. I have accidentally grabbed hers from the laundry, so she was pointing a finger at me. 

My closet is, um, crowded, but I was fairly confident that it wasn't in there. I told her it had to be in her room. When Curly was putting away laundry, I poked around in a bin in her room that sits under a bunch of hooks specifically for hoodies. (Trust me, you've never seen so many hoodies). 

10 seconds later, I pulled out . . .  her hoodie. IN  HER ROOM. It had been 'missing' for months. Uh- huh. Point a finger at me, will you? She froze. In shock. That's right. I was correct, LET THE RECORD STATE. 

I'm Landing at 7:35 PM:  Mini flew to Costa Rica for a post grad trip with her 16 besties last week. She landed at O'Hare Sat. night. Tank had come home for the weekend, and agreed to go pick her up. 

She failed to supply us with flight info, just the time she landed. On the way there, their flight wasn't direct. We assumed the way home was the same, but we couldn't ask her questions, because she was in the air when the question arose. 

After she landed, she needed to go through customs. Tank waited at the side of the road for an hour. We all breathed a sigh of relief that movie-making-mom wasn't the one waiting at the airport. 

Not Picture Perfect:  THIS IS THE TANK STORY FROM FLORIDA I PROMISED SO SO LONG AGO. Curly, Tank, and I were lounging at one of the pools. We were the only ones there. An older man, 'Bob' arrived in an electric wheelchair accompanied by a health care worker. He commented on Tank's nonfiction history book.

They traded fav book titles, etc. At one point Bob showed him the cover of a book that he pulled up on his phone.

Bob:  Ignore all the photos of the pretty girls. Those are my girlfriends (or something equally strange).

I was lying on my belly, reading my book on a lounge chair a few feet away. Curly was lying face down on a different side of the pool (there weren't a ton of lounge chairs).  

Tank (SHOUTING):  Hey! Did you just take a picture of her?  That's MY MOM! And that's my sister - you took a picture of her too, didn't you? Get outta here, creep!

Bob:  Oh, no -I was taking a picture of the boats in the harbor. 

Tank:  Whatever, you can't see the boats from here. Delete the photos of them right now. 

The pool was on the second floor, so the only part of a boat that was visible was the tip top of the mast. 

I froze, unsure of protocol. I kinda felt like Tank had things covered. He was miffed. Outraged. Steamed. 

*****

Do you live with a hoodie hoarder? Am I alone in thinking that I did college wrong? A post grad trip? 16 besties? Have you ever dealt with a stranger taking your bathing-suit clad photo? 

Crowd sourcing:  I'm tossing around the idea of creating a new grad party menu vs my usual mostaccioli, Italian beef, salad, and green bean casserole. I'd love to make something in my fleet of crockpots, but open to any suggestions. What party have you attended recently that offered a menu you loved?

Then the universe said to me: "If Mini's meal didn't kill you, maybe this one will.".

I'm alive, but twice last week food tried to eliminate me and I survived. Trust - it was no small feat. 

As you know, Mini made tikki Masala Monday night. In typical Mini fashion, she messed up the ratios and the meal was not as soupy as anticipated. It tasted yummy, but the spices were a lot, as the result was, how shall we say, Concentrated? 

Mini (a few hours after dinner):  Mom, why are you talking like you've been smoking 2 packs a day?

Me:  I dunno. I'm a little wheezy. I'll do my inhaler in a few minutes. I just want this done.  *the story about what I was working on will be another post

I found my inhaler, which I rarely use (2x a year is a lot, some years - never), took a few puffs and was fine. The next morning when I decided that it was weird that I'd been wheezing - I googled, can spicy food cause asthma to act up, and Dr. Google said yes. Later I told Mini that she was trying to kill me. We chuckled. The end. 

Or was it?

Thursday night I had book club. 

I thought that I'd missed book club, confusing my Thursdays and believing it had coincided with Curly's graduation. Then I got a reminder email. Kris, the host, texted me and asked if I was dairy free, or just gluten free. She bought vegan/gf cupcakes from a bakery. So sweet. Literally and figuratively.

She lives 20 minutes away. The food was so tasty and lately I'm ravenous even after I've eaten dinner. I enjoyed pineapple, carrot sticks, yellow pepper, beer dip (gf), GF pretzels, prosciutto, and pepper jack cheese before we sat down to discuss the book. 

The book - not a fan. The School of Essential Ingredients. In a word:  contrived. Hey, some people liked it. To each her own.

After the discussion, I ate a GF/vegan cupcake. I couldn't believe how delicious it was. Then someone asked me where Kay was going to high school. I told them the story of how we found the amazing and wonderful place where she will attend school. 

I became short of breath. I was coughing between my sentences, and then between my words. I'm nothing if not committed to telling a whole story without interruption, so I fought through. I'm brave that way. 

Kris has a dog, but I hadn't seen it. And her house was immaculate. I'm more allergic to cats than dogs. I'd have to rub my whole face in a dog's furry fluff in order to react, and even then - I haven't reacted to dogs since I started allergy shots. 

As people made their way to the kitchen, mingling a bit before departing, I waved good-bye. I'd told the story of Mini's spicy meal making me wheeze.

Me (to another lady):  I wonder if the spicy pepper jack is making me wheeze.

Her:  Do you have your inhaler with you?

Me:  No, but I'll be home in 20 minutes.

I didn't want anyone to know that I was sort of freaking out, but I was. My asthma has never escalated to anything scary, and I was breathing - but really wheezy. 

I called Mini on Bluetooth:  Is my location on?

Mini:  Yeah, why? Are you OK? Why are you coughing?

Me:  I'm having an asthma attack. I want you to get my nebulizer machine out. It's under Dad's side of the bathroom sink. 

Mini:  Mom! Pull over and call 911.

Me:  No, I'll be fine. I can do a nebulizer treatment, but I want it ready right when I walk in. I'll tell you how to set it up. I'm gonna stay on the phone though, so if anything happens - you know where I am.

This was the collection of stuff Mini
dragged down from
 under the sink -- boxes
 of contact lenses, and eventually the
 nebulizer machine. It sat on the
 table all weekend. I was slow moving.

Mini fumbling under the bathroom sink:  I think, . . . this is it. Yeah, I've got the vials of medicine in like a fancy cloth bag?

Me:  What? No. A cardboard box from the pharmacy. (it became clear she was under my sink instead of Coach's). Mini - you're under my sink - look under Dad's. 

In short:  Coach was asleep and Mini was getting yelled at for waking him up. I've never had an emergent asthma attack so I think he was sort of like Whatever when she tried to explain. I kept staring at the GPS and assuring myself I'd be fine, home in 6 min, home in 3 min, etc. 

Mini found everything I needed except for the mouth piece /attachment that holds the meds. When I walked in, I did the inhaler with low expectations, because I couldn't inhale much. I tiptoed into my bathroom to find the attachments. When I stood up after rummaging under the sink - I caught a glimpse of myself in Coach's mirror. 

I saw RED. As in Elmo. Bright red. My hands and feet were itchy. I knew that - like when I was driving, I think I even told Mini that, but I was locked in on ASTHMA and now that I saw that I resembled a red version of Shrek, I accepted the reality. ALLERGIC REACTION. 

*****

History repeating:  Long-time readers might remember when I reacted to my allergy shots once, when they bumped up my meds too fast and my airway started closing when I drove home. I had to do a U-turn . Back at the office they gave me epinephrine. This was THAT, but it had registered with me as asthma.  

*****

Mini appeared in the doorway of my room. Took out her phone, and I said - DON'T CALL 911 - JUST DRIVE ME. Coach sat up in bed, and I told him Mini was taking me to the ER. He asked if I wanted him to go and Mini and I both said NO. Mini didn't have to caddy until 1:00 pm, so she could take me. He gets up for work before 5.

On the way to the ER 16 minute away, I started to panic. I've heard of 'I didn't know I was having a heart attack' stories, and the like. What if this was something else? I had what felt like an air bubble in my chest - like behind my breast bone. I yelled at Mini to drive faster. We were on a road with no traffic - residential. 11:00 pm. I ordered her to go thru the stop signs - the town was like a ghost town. 'Go FASTER!' I was whimpering, staring again at the GPS, counting down the minutes. 

I hopped out at the ER entrance, and told her where to park. I fumbled inside, leaned on the desk, and panted:  I'M HAVING AN ALLERGIC REACTOIN.  I NEED EPINEPHRINE. 

Hospital staff:  Name and date of birth, please. 

I told her, and she found my profile. They put me in a wheelchair. My nose was stuffed and we had no tissues in the car or in my purse. Mini ran in after parking,  and couldn't believe I was not in the back yet. I was like "KLEENEX." She found some. Then she waited at the double doors, and whenever they opened, she begged the staff:  CAN SOMEONE HELP MY MOM? (Yes, I've apologized to Mini a dozen times for traumatizing her). 

They assured her they were clearing a room for me. 

The time I'd returned to the allergist office, they hit me with a dose of epinephrine a few minutes later. Now I had to wait for a doc to come in. Details. They put me in a room, in a gown, on a blood pressure cuff, and gave me an IV. I was insanely thirsty. 

The doc:  Is this your normal color? 

Me:  Nope. (wanting to say, this is only Elmo's normal color).

They gave me the epinephrine, Zyrtec, Benadryl, and a steroid. A minute later, I had to puke. This might have been the worst part, because my chest was so tight, It was really painful - 100% that was the bubble that had been making me crazy. I let the nurse know that I, er, might poop my pants. 

Nurse:  I'm sorry, but we can't have you up and walking around until you are more stable.

Mini:  Mom, just go in your pants. No one cares.

from tenor

Me:  Mini, I'm wearing my white jeans. (Yes! The ones I wore graduation weekend - the same ones that Jenny in FL commented about, surprised I'd wear white jeans with my GI struggles. Jinx, much, Jenny?)

I waited, but the waves of pain in my tricky left side were pretty intense. The meds gave me a horrible case of the shakes. 

Can I get a best dressed for the ER for my
cute outfit? It's hard to see my white jeans,
 because they blend in with the white-lined
 bucket she gave me in case I had to puke
 again. Once was enough, thanks. 

**I re-enacted the scene for my folks: fear of soiling my white jeans, Mini remarking that maybe it was weird after all that Coach hadn't brought me, the lady taking my name and DOB while I squinted at her while gasping for air with snot running down my face,  Mini running stop signs at my request, and my most obnoxious case of shakes - chattering teeth so loud. My dad had to wipe tears from his face,  he was laughing so hard. So, know that you are missing the overall dramatic flare that this story delivers in person. 

When the shakes had calmed, Mini searched for a nurse to unhook me, so I could go to the bathroom. Couldn't find her. Coach called, and Mini video chatted him, to see if he could help her figure out how to unhook the IV, etc. Remember, waves of pain, fear of soiling my pants. *sigh* Finally, she found the nurse. I got unhooked, and I went to the bathroom. Literally, everything inside of me was determined to make an exit. 

I had to stay for 3 hours from the time I got the shot, which was 11:40 p to be sure the reaction wouldn't return. I'd arrived at 11:20, so I'd waited 20 minutes to get the meds. 

Well, the 3 hour business sucked. I slept for an hour and Mini sat in the chair in a blanket. We paid our bill and got home at 3:15 am. I knew when I went to bed that I'd hear the damn garbage trucks at 6:35, and I did, but I also knew that I could go back to sleep. It was Friday - my day off. 

I got up and peed after the garbage wake up call. Then got back into bed and like clockwork - jackhammers. They started tearing up the curbs - right under my window - on our street that morning. I texted Coach:  IT'S ALMOST COMEIDC. 

I saw my allergist Friday. Having food allergy tests Tuesday. Anxious to figure out what I'm allergic to. All the food I ate is food I've eaten before. What gives? 

* Guess why I puked - the cupcakes weren't GF and vegan. Just vegan. The host felt awful - they misinformed her. 

Where was I? . . . Unintentional blog break defined

Hello, happy Tuesday. I'm here. I'm back. 

I never officially went anywhere, aside from South Bend for Mini's graduation. (So much fun). I think my friend, Colleen at Martin Family Moments said it best:  It's not me, it's May. 

We had three graduations last week. For the local graduations, there were cameras to charge, blankets to gather (outdoor high school graduation was stupid cold), outfits to debate when faced with a chilly few hours in bleachers, organizing a ride for Kay to come straight from a year end track party, and as always - feeding the people in advance of the ceremonies (kay had a thermos of dinner in the stands) and saving enough seats. 

Does this photo scream:  our college
 kid just moved home?

Also, because weird things happen at the most inopportune times, we dealt with a door that wouldn't close. Long story short, a small, triangular magnet block from my tots became wedged behind the sliding glass door in the family room. It was almost impossible to see it let alone remove it. When we tried to lock the door, it stopped short of closing - magnet block interference for the win. 

Or this one?

We left the slider unlocked while at Kay's 8th grade graduation Tuesday night. A small reception followed. After the mass, each of the 7 grads gave a speech at the grad ceremony. You get the idea:  LONG. 

While enjoying sheet cake and punch, Reg asked:  Are we gonna go home soon? My friends are coming over. 

Me:  yes, soon.

A few minutes later, Reg:  Oh, my friends are at our house. Wait, oh - I guess they found an open door. They're inside.

menacing magnet block

We know his friends. It was fine. A little surprising, but fine. They've been locked in our basement before on the night of the faulty door handle, so they know how we roll. They moved the hangout spot to someone else's house and Reg met them there later. 

Back at home, Coach unscrewed various door parts. Nothing. More parts were unscrewed. I feared we'd need a professional, but Coach pulled the door in at the top a few centimeters. I stood on the deck, shining a flashlight from my phone, and Mini used an unwound coat hanger to pop the little sucker out from between the doors. 

Teamwork makes the dreamwork

I'm guessing Mary Ann's ring camera captured me whooping and hollering in the dark on the deck. She already thinks we're whacky, so it feels right to add to the hype. 

That's just the tip of the iceberg. I always fear not keeping you in the loop - and here we are - Where to start to get you up to speed? 

GUT ISSUES BE DAMNED:  the thing that really derailed me was switching my meds to the new ones suggested by the great doc. Bad timing. I ended up switching back to my former antacid and my twice daily Miralax habit due to pain, a fear that I might not make it to the bathroom - ain't no way I wanted to soil my cute outfits in the presence of all our ND friends, and a complete departure from sleep. That last one was the last straw. 

My body got angrier (who knew that was possible) when I switched back to the OG regimen, so things got worse before they got better. I only slept a few hours before leaving Fri morning for ND - but guess what helps load a fridge full of food into a car? Starting at 3:30 am. Hello, silver lining. 

At the free house where we stayed in South Bend, I napped - a small miracle. That took the edge off and I enjoyed the night so much - - - while donning the crop top/belt combo with the white cropped jeans (I know you've been wondering). That night I slept 10 hours. When I awoke, the guys were dressing for golf, people were popping in and out of our room, using the bathroom near our room, and Ed poked his head in:  CAN WE GET A PULSE CHECK ON ERNIE? Who knew I could out sleep teens and 20-somethings?

In Real Time:  

• I opted to swap out the new antacid and that's not been a problem. It was dumb, IMO to swap both things at once, because then how do you know which to blame if things 'aren't right'. Next I'll go back to the pill version of Miralax, but I suspect that is the culprit of my undoing. 
• Babysitting is winding down - older kids and I will take two cars and 7 littles to the zoo for our last-hurrah field trip today, cuz GW cannot be trusted. 
• I've begun gathering video clips for Curly's grad video. I'm sharing a gem here. All eyes on Mini - upset that Curly is hanging a 'Mini' ornament. After Curly hangs it, Mini removes it and hangs it somewhere else. Off everyone's radar until last night when I watched the clip and died laughing. 
  
  
  
  
  
  
• I'm trying to write the chapter that I need to read on June 1st. 
• I've delegated kids to cook dinner. As I type this Monday night, Mini is prepping her fav meal, Chicken Tikka Masala, from ND dining hall. She just called out to Reg:  "Sous chef? I need you to move this chicken to the marinade. Then I'd like you to start making rice." Updates to follow.

I apologize for being MIA - I'm reading blogs and commenting here and there. 

*****

Tell me about a weird house malfunction that left you scrambling?  Have you sat outside for a freezing graduation and lived to tell about it?