hecklers gotta heckle, questions gotta be asked - but not always answered, & laughing is the best

WELL, THIS WAS UNEXPECTED 

Friday morning I woke up to a note from Coach:  We're going to the city tonight to see Jerry Seinfeld's stand up show to celebrate our 30th anniversary. 

Remember we'd enjoyed a drink in the dive bar attached to our shady hotel in Chicolthe, OH on our way to drop Curly off at college on our actual anniversary? I'd sort of forgotten that we'd not officially celebrated.  

I always see such curious things
in the city. Across the
street from us
was a guy walking,
holding a walker
with two, large colorful
birds. Parrots, maybe?

Coach's plan included leaving our house at 4:30 to drive into the city for a 7:00 show, so we'd have time for a dink beforehand. He also thought we'd have time to eat a dinner at home that he prepared before leaving at 4:30. 

Well, long story, but my back hurt a ton while sleeping the night before and I was awake more than asleep, or that's how it felt. I ended up sleeping later than usual (after getting up to take Motrin and eating something so I wasn't taking Mortin on an empty stomach), which meant my day off agenda ran late. I'd scored a last minute hair cut appointment at 11:30. I visited my dad afterwards, which means I didn't eat lunch until almost 2:00. After a quick nap, I felt ready to go out on the town, but you know what I was not ready for? Eating dinner before 4:30. 

Instead Coach put my dinner in a thermos and I brought it in the car. Traffic was ridiculous. Maybe because of the 3 day weekend? Who knows. I ate my special dinner out of a thermos about an hour after we were in the car. Without ample time for a drink at a bar downtown, we bought a drink at the venue and strolled around enjoying the beautiful theater. 

THE SHOW WAS HILARIOUS

It looks like this is a Halloween
show featuring a ghost,
but that's Jerry. 

Finding the 'Spot Hero' parking spot that he'd paid for in advance was a bit stressful. Rest assured, Coach and I are doing what we can to behave like elderly people who have never operated a cellular device. 

The surprising thing . . .  during the show audience members hollered random things at Seinfeld. The first one:  YOU'RE A RACIST. Security took that person, and subsequent disrupting folks out. We were in the nosebleed section, and Heckler was front and center. I can only imagine what the person paid for the ticket. 

Jerry was quick with his comebacks.  "They always talk in such a high voice. It's hard to even hear what the issue is." 

This played out about 4-5 more times throughtout the show. It was baffling. One person accused him of supporing genocide. Jerry promised one heckler to find out how much Heckler had paid for his/her ticket, "And I'm gonna send it to Israel." 

Aside from the interruptions, we laughed a lot. 

DON'T ASK  

Here we are before the show. I recently
bought this dress at a thrift store. It's
 a J.Crew dress and I love it. This
 was the first chance I had to wear it.

Coach chuckled on the way home, noting that he found the bit about, "I've learned never to ask my wife questions. She doesn't want to go back. Only forward. Don't ask what she said. Just move forward." 

We'd had a 'moment' that afternooon . . . which, in my defense, was before my nap. He was wheeling the stationary bike into the family room from the living room. I was in the kitchen with the water running in the sink, making my very late lunch, and I'd just requested that Alexa play a song. 

Coach:  What did you say?

Me trying to repeat whatever he'd missed and instead Alexa intervened, saying:  'Playing Love Shack by the B52's' - which, believe it or not, was NOT what I wanted to hear. So, I hesitated to respond to Coach, because I was waiting till he was closer. Plus I was dealing with Alexa, fumbling with directions so she would not play a song that I hate, and further confusing him - thinking I must be speaking to him. 

Coach:  Gosh, I just asked you what  . . . and you can't even . . . 

Me:  I'M . . . UGH . . . 

So, Seinfeld's joke about being wary about asking a wife a question tickled Coach's funny bone. 

NOT EXACTLY UNCHARTERED TERRITORY

At the end of the night, I waited in the world's longest line for the restroom. About 20 min later, an attendant walked over to alert those of us at the end of the linethat they'd cleaned the men's restroom. It was empty. We were welcome to use it. The end of the line group about-faced, and raced to the opposite direction where the men's restroom was located. Honestly, she had me at 'available restroom'. Ya know?

I told the woman behind me, "Back in college I would've just snuck in and not waited for permission, but that was a different day." 

Woman behind me:  Same. 

Believe it or not, that was only a snippet of the wild weekend I had. More later. 

******

Have you ever seen a stand up comic? Have you been to a live performance lately? Is this heckler thing common nowadays? Do you use Spot Hero? Does driving into your city stress you out? Ever behave as if you might qualify you as someone who hasn't ever used a cellular device? 

what I found when decluttering the boy room and the mudroom

I could've used a bulldozer to assist me in clearing a path in the boys' room in August after Reg left for college. To be clear, every time a boy leaves for college or moves out, I instruct them to orgnize the room, take their stuff with them, and get rid of the garbage. Without fail, this request has fallen on deaf ears. 

I promised to share things I found in the room as I plowed through. Since I also just did a deep clean of the mudroom, I'll share some gems I found there too. 

It started with this - remember? Tank bought a piece of the Berlin Wall and our friend stuck this rock in his bag while he was in Ireland after writing 'Rock of Cashel' on it. Rock of Cashel is a famous castle in Ireland.

Tank's fraternity gave him this award freshman year of college:  'Mix in a Water'. He handed it to me when I arrived to move him out and he hadn't packed a thing. I told him, "This is not something you share with your mom."

One of my fav photos of Tank with my Dad - coloring Easter eggs.

I was surprised at how many coats I unearthed. Raincoat, fleece, heavy fall coat that I once replaced the zipper on.

This is Tank's bed. I think Reg had castoff clothes and books on it. I spent time organizing the crap on top of the bed - stuffing things that might belong to someone in the lockers on either side of the bed.

The inside of Tank's locker. There are still a set of walkie talkies in here. And the bottom shelf - broken bobble heads and maybe trophies. I closed the door on this mess. Not gonna bother.

The sheer nunber of pairs of sweat socks with a match is staggering. This is Reg territory. His brothers beg him not to wear high sweat socks with every kind of shoes. 

I believe this belongs to a lazer tag set that I've not seen in over a decade.

Seriously? Instructional soccer participation plaque from 2013.

This is (an upside down) Michigan State flag. I found not one, but two of them in the mudroom. Both Reg and Curly applied there, because it was an Evan's Scholarship school - in case they got the scholarship and needed options. None of us are Spartan fans. I believe their acceptance letter arrived wrapped in a flag. Cute marketing angle, but we have  no need for it. 

I think this was a mouse, a charger, and a can opener. The number of chargers I found - computer and phone . . . lost count, but it was handy that I'd left them all on Reg's bed, so when he asked me to bring him a specific charger, I found it.

I found a gift bag in Reg's mudroom locker. In it
was a cap and gown gift card holder with an unused Amazon gift card. 

These shoes - Reg and Tank's - were all taking up serious real estate.
 I sent them pictures and almost all were tossed. Except the pair of boots.

Reg and Curly went to a b-ball thing over the summer with my brother. They met Dwayne Wade. It was called 'Everyone Watches Women's Sports.' Curly texted me back: "toss the hat, but keep the bag." Yes, there were jokes at the dinner table that night when Reg and Curly came home, such as: 'Does anyone watch women's sports?' 

I've bought Command hooks without realizing there was inventory in the boys' room.

Framed photo on Ed's bed. This is one of my fav photos of Ed and his buddies from grade school. I took it in our yard. It captures their personalities so well. The guy in the orange, predictably took the fun football game way too seriously. Ed with the brown sleeves and his buddy in the Nike shirt are laughing, on brand.

Lots of books - most required high school reading, but also a lot of yearbooks. Why on earth is there still a snare drum on the very top of the book case? Lad's 28. It's  his. 

Found this 'hat'? in the mudroom. I've never seen it before. Reg's - best guess. 

Mulitple baseball rosaries inside Reg's locker in his bedroom. He attended a Catholic baseball camp a few years when he was little.

Another can opener. Probably because Reg lived in an apartment during his gap year before college.

These goggles have been floating around our mudroom for years. I believe Mini took them from high school. She wears them sometimes when I cut onions.

We found a rolled up lifesize outline of Curly from her kindergarten b-day, signed by all of her classmates. It was on top of the mudroom cabinets. (now it's in the trash).

Not one, but two high school Greek Mythology books. The kids didn't check to see if we had it before buying it again. 


This is a stock photo, because I think Mini's disappeared. Before she left for college, I suggested Mini buy a small bucket - to soak, er, clothes - particularly stained unmentionables. She came home from Target with a collapsible bucket. Made sense given her dorm room had limited space. 
I hadn't factored in that Mini had not once soaked her own items, and the collapsible bucket lived in Mini's room for four years untouched. She goes overboard when mentioning how pointless this purchase was.

The mudroom is much improved. Aside from Mini's locker. She had a work project due this week, so she passed on emptying her locker. Shock.No before photo, but the floor wasn't visible. Use your imagination. 
The boy room is better. Reg will be back next for fall break, and I have some piles I'm gonna make him go through.
*****
What have you found lurking in a closet or a mudroom that surprised you? Are you team collapsible bucket?

holding down the fort: an adventure in chatting with everyone, nearly missed movies, & an 80's sound track

Coach taught a class in Oklahoma City over the weekend. I held down the fort. 

On Friday, I visited my dad. We video chatted Curly after his PT session. It was a beautiful 65 degree day, so we sat on the patio of the rehab place - him in the shade, me not in the shade. Dad had a million questions for Curly. She was doing her hair, because she'd just gotten out of the shower.

Dad:  why are you pulling on your hair?

Curly:  I'm putting gel in it?

Dad:  What?

Curly and me in unison:  Gel. Like hair gel.

Curly:  You probably used a lot of hair gel back when you had hair. 

Rae got invited with a group to a friend's house Saturday night. Friend lives a mere 42 minutes away. None of the other invited kids live anywhere near us. Eek. (a pitfall of going to a private school). This after Rae had a volleyball tournament that was 3o minutes away - opposite direction from Friend's house. I thought about saying No, but decided that Kay and I would go to the movies at a theater nearby Friend's. 

When I told Rae she could go to Friend's while Kay and I did something in the area, 

Rae:  Can you tell me what I'm missing, like what are you and Kay doing?

My take away from that:  Rae might value spending time with me over hanging with friends. It's a sort of punch in the arm, right?

Anyway, Rae opted to hang with her crew, and Kay and I went to see Heart of the Beast with Brad Pitt. It was rated PG-13 and not for sex (which works), plus the 6:25 showtime seemed doable. 

The girls and I went to 4:30 mass. I'd not done the driving math, and when I paused between prayers to do said math, I wondered if maybe we should leave after communion, but we'd arrived 5 minutes late after I sped all the way from the volleyball tournament and I always sit near the front (late or not), because I cannot receive the host - only the wine and sometimes they run out of wine, and I don't like to run the risk of those who take the wine backwashing the host into the wine goblet . . . so we stayed until the end of mass. 

We ran into everyone and their brother, no - what I mean is, we ran into MY brother, Mike, who'd just visited my mom and didn't have time to get to mass near his home. Then we ran into Ray and Michael, the father with his son, who has a cognitive disability. (I've shared how Reg is buddies with Michael - they have the same birthday and Reg takes him the track to prep him for Special Olympics, and Reg replies to his Happy Hump Day texts without fail). We've not been in town for a several weekends, so we've not stopped to chat with them in ages. We were getting in our car and a couple who help out at the youth ministry group appeared, ready and willing to chat about how Kay's school day takes place in the empty school building at the same parish where their son, a recenly ordained priest, works.  

Following our social time after mass, we got home and I sprung the 'HERE'S THE PLAN' on the girls - which included Rae taking a quick shower, and them grabbing dinner from the crockpot and hopping in the car. I loaded my gf dinner in a thermos to eat at the theater. GPS had us arriving at Friend's house at 6:35. The movie was 5 minutes away. I banked on 20 minutes of preveiws. 

Who guessed that I don't go to the theater often?

Driving 27 miles away to hang out for the night is far. At one point, we drove over a hill and looked out on a large prairie, and I told the girls I thought we might be in Wyoming. I played 80's hits on spotify and sang along, daring them to even think about touching the skip button. 

After we dropped Rae off, things started to go sideways. My GPS refused to show the driving directions. I had to hold my phone and stare at the blue lighthouse like dot - the one it shows when you're walking and you have to spin around to see which way to go. Am I alone here? I assumed the theater was at the mall that we'd just driven past, so it wasn't all that challenging to find, but functioning GPS has me spoiled. 

Me:  Hey, there's a Von Maur here. Good to know that living in the boonies doesn't mean they don't have access to good shopping

We pulled around the Von Maur building, and there was the theater . . .  Boarded up. Parking lot totaly empty. WTF?!

Kay:  Maybe it's around back.

I took this pic after the movie. When we saw this boarded up side - it was still sunny out.

Me:  It's NOT around back - see, it's boarded up (she says as she continues to drive around back).

There we discovered a packed lot and a whole new theater. And what is wrong with the OG building? So wasteful. Totally weird. We ran inside. The kiosk wouldn't sell us tickets to the 6:25 show, so the ticket guy told us to talk to the consession people. We got our tickets. 

Me:  Do you think the previews are still playing?

Teen employee:  No, it's been playing for like 10 min. (Bubble burster).

We raced to theater 16. Kay insisted I was going to the wrong theater, but I was right. The one she was pointing at was the same movie, playing at a different time. Who's the rookie now, eh?

We sat in our seats in the front row (not the upfront front where you get whiplash). I googled what we missed and had her read it, but honestly there's very little dialogue in the whole production. Safe to say, we didn't miss much. The movie was intense at times, but not much of a movie - unless you're into watching a man and his dog fight off wolves and a bear and deal with injuries, etc. I surprised Kay and pulled one of my cookies from the freezer out of my purse as a treat. 

Afterward, we killed an hour in Von Maur, then went to get Rae. I told funny stories on the way home, and all in all it felt like they had a fun time. Kay thanked me for spending the evening with her. 

Sunday included some deep house cleaning, as I wanted to make myself feel accomplished since I didn't get to go to Omaha with Tank and Reg for parents' weekend. Reg said one of his friend's moms is super energetic and chatty and she wants to meet me. "She's just like you." I take that as a compliment. Since this mom is from Omaha, I feel like I won't have to wait till next parents' weekend to meet her. Maybe we can visit for a b-ball game. 

Kay was helpful with the deep cleaning, but dished out quite a bit of attitude. Just so we're clear that it wasn't all movies and cookies and 80's songs. I remained calm (which isn't always my knee jerk response), but pointed out that she was welcome to toss her attitude out the window. Me thinks she likes to be helpful, but only if it's her idea/her approach and not if it includes doing things to specifications, like reorganizing bins of hats and gloves and sunscreen in the mudroom so that they fit in the overhead cabinet vs sticking them in hard to reach spaces above the cabinets while in disarray. She insited they wouldn't fit in the cabinets. I knew they would. One guess who was right. 

Delish- I added
veggies to the sheet pan.

In other news, I tried a new recipe (chili honey chicken and sweet potatoes) Friday night (yes, we ate at 7:30, why is that relevant?) that Suzanne shared on her blog. It was a big hit. Mini and I played Code Names with the girls after dinner, and Mini only called one of her sisters an idiot once, but everyone laughed - well, Mini didn't but I'm not counting her. 

My dryer is broken, but GW got fixed AGAIN. I've not even shared that she wouldn't start - sat in the garage for weeks, but Coach got it to start Thursday evening and we drove it to the shop. Just a battery. My baby is home! Nevermind that I bloodied and bruised myself loading several of the carseats into the minivan last week, so I could take four littles to the library on a rainy day. *sigh*

Also, Sunday night Mini and I stumbled on a show 'Rooster' with Steve Carrell. Love it. 

*****

What's new in your world? See a good movie? Start a new show? Have you ever been so late to a movie that you missed the first ten minutes? New dinners? Is 80's music your jam while you drive? Would you drive 27 miles one way for your kid to hang with friends? Have you organized a mud room or other space recently?

Friday ef-ups on a Thursday

Thank you all so much for the kind words, prayers, and encouragemen for my dad. He was sent to a rehab facility Tuesday. It's only 9 minutes from Rea's school, so it'll be easy to see him and to bring my mom. After visiting him Sunday evening, he acted so like himself - joking around, wanting to read his book on some history thing, I decided that he has the will to live. He wants to be here for my mom. He's hoping to get a great grand baby (first wedding of his 24 grandkids in a few weeks, so great grand babies feel like a pipe dream). I'm hopeful that he recovers and isn't in constant pain. 

*****

I have organized upcoming post ideas in my drafts. So many of them fall into the ef-ups category, I thought I'd share a few today: 

Got Milk? 6 weeks ago, Kay asked if she could make my protein balls for me. My inventory in the freezer was depleted, and she's made them before, so I said sure. I was at the minibar that straddles the kitchen and family room, drafting an email to Curly's coach - asking if she would reconsider allowing Curly to go to the 9/26 wedding before I cancelled the flights. 

Took this out of the freezer yesterday.
 Thawed it and turned it into balls.

I can picture all of you cringing. Rest assured, I didn't send the email. 

Kay:  I might've put in too much milk. Should I just add more oatmeal?

Me:  Hang on a minute. Let me look.

Too much milk? Quite the understatement. The recipe called for 3 cups of oats and a 1/2 cup of milk. We always double it. She added 6 cups of milk instead of 1. In order to fix it, I had to add 12 cups of oatmeal. I didn't have that much oatmeal. A trip to the store was needed, as was every single large bowl that I owned. My shoulder hurt for days after stirring the huge vats of protein ball dough. *sigh*

Good news:  I don't have to make protein balls for a while. I have a big inventory in my freezer.

Where's the beef chicken?  A woman in my college alumnae book club was hit by a car the end of May. A woman driving a minivan took a turn and mowed her down while she was crossing the street in her neighborhood in broad daylight. She was lucky that she had no internal injuries or head trauma. She broke her pelvis, her sternum, a collar bone, both bones in one leg, etc. I waited until after the grad party in late June to sign up on MealTrain to bring her dinner.

The first week of August:

• Tuesday I hosted the families I sit for for an early dinner, so they could watch the Curly Movie and say good-bye and get caught up the week before daycare starts up. 
• Wednesday, the next day, we had family dinner. One last gathering before Curly left. 
• On Thursday, I signed up to take the woman's family dinner. 

It was a hectic time. I wasn't babysitting yet, but Curly was sitting for Lil Curly (who has pin straight hair, but has the same first name IRL as Curly). 

As an aside, I video chat Curly while I'm babysitting quite often. She loves to say hi to Baby Curly. Every time Baby Curly sees Big Curly, she says, "HI BIG CURLY," and I die laughing.

Before the babysitting dinner, Reg ran to the store to grab necessary ingredients for crockpot mac and cheese. He came home without a mandatoy item, so Tuesday morning I ran to the store. While I was there, I thought "I'll grab the chicken for MealTrain dinner."

I walked in from the store, and Curly alerted me of a Lil Curly potty victory. To quote Monty Python, "They all rejoiced." Lil Curly loves Big, but she's attached to me, so my involvement in her potty training continued as a theme all summer. 

We danced, we sang, and I gifted stickers and M&M's. I loaded the mac and cheese in the crockpot, and continued to prep for the upcoming days of meals and guests, etc.

I know she loves Diet Coke, so I threw
 one in with the dinner and dessert.

Thursday, I opened the fridge to get started on balsamic chicken and peppers. I couldn't find the chicken that I'd bought. After checking all.the.fridges, including the dining room fridge, I started to grumble. I assumed Coach had grilled the MealTrain chicken when he grilled for the family dinner. He swore that wasn't the case. 

I raced to the store, bought more chicken, and  prepeared the dinner. When it was time to drive to deliver it, I realized that I had to take GW (Great White, our 12 seater van). Curly had to drive somewhere and she doesn't drive GW, as there's a learning curve with it. I was bummed, because holy gas guzzler and the address was a haul - like 25-30 min away. 

If only the scent of
 the flowers could've
 over powered the
scent of rotting chicken.

I'd not thought about buying flowers for a centerpiece, so I cut some hydrangeas from our bush in the front yard, loaded the food in the car, and hopped in. The car smelled bad. We don't drive it often, but Reg takes it to caddy when the other four cars are in use, so I thought he'd left something in the bag for garbage. The bag was basically empty. Huh?

Then it hit me.

Me (outLOUD):  OH, NO -I KNOW WHAT THIS IS!

I hopped out of the car, jogged to the rear, opened the door and there it was. The chicken that I bought on Tuesday. 

In my mind, it all made sense:  I'd raced inside with the ingredients, and intended to run back outside to get the rest of the bags (that happened to contain chicken), but I got sidetracked celebrating potty time . . . and one of my kids probably walked by, slammed the rear door without looking inside. The chicken had been festering in the 90 plus degree temps in the rear of GW for like 52 hours.

I tossed the chicken in an old recycling bin, kicked it out of the garage, got back in the car, and drove to the address - windows down, while batting at a swarm of flies. By the time I got to this woman's house, I worried that she'd smell rotting meat on me, or note flies stuck in my hair (it felt like they were stuck all over me). I called Coach to warn him of the treat waiting near the driveway when we got home. "See if you can think of a dumpster nearby." Our garbage men had come that morning.

Fortunately, the patient was asleep upstairs. Her daughter let me in. I didn't linger and I hope my perfume, au de rotting chicken, didn't either. I don't know this woman well enough to explain my mistake. Maybe some day?

*****

Have you had any good ef-ups lately? What food item have you left in the car or out of the fridge and lived to tell smell like it?   

Wedding weekend (with a temporary fam photo): amazing high while coping with an unfortuntate low

Wedding fun:  I have a few funny 'get out the door for the road trip to the wedding' stories, like Reg texting me from Omaha before he drove to KC and I was racing around packing the car - "If you haven't left yet, can you please bring me some toilet paper." 

I did not comply by bringing him 2-ply. 

Son, you have one of our cars. Stop at the damn store. What is happening?

Have egg dish, will travel. We ate this Sat
and Sun mornings. I cut it and stuck it in
 gallon size zip loc bags. Each
kid heated up what they wanted. 

Our goal was to leave at 9 am. Coach had morning patients. I slept a whopping and necessary 8 hours the night before, which was dreamy, quite literally. I'd not slept enough the night before, waking early fretting over Lad's suit and whether Mr. Communication Struggles shared pertinant info this his gf. I managed to go for my run, wash and dry my hair, load all the food in coolers, and pack for myself. We left at 9:30 - not terribly off our goal. 

My kitchen whilst babysitting Thursday.

I'd organized the fridge - necessary food on one shelf. My lists -key. I ran upstairs for the garment bags on my bed with all the dresses. Kay had offered to grab them insisted on doin. Thank goodness I did it myself . . . I stumbled across Tank's dress shirts hanging on the front hall closet door. 

Sheesh. Shenanigans, get your shit together. 

The wedding was epic. The first one for our kids aside from Lad. Sort of unfortunate, because the bar has been raised very high. The band  - well, I'm thinking a must-have at our offsprings' weddings, a national organization. I may or may not be toying with the idea of working another 5 years to secure band funds. 

Anyway, everything was beautiful and amazing. The priest knew them personally, and his message was lovely. Breathtaking day. I'm posting a pic of us, missing Ed and Curly. Lad on far left, next to his gf. Tank far right. Reg next to me. Rae in a white cardigan. Kay pink dress. Mini brown dress. We clean up OK, me thinks. (she types, shuddering to think about the preperations, including the last minute haircut I sent Reg to get a few hours before the mass. I'd considered bringing my clippers, but forgot them. He's almost 21 and this was his first prof. haircut).  

******

The low:  I got a text around 7 am Saturday. My dad lost his balance in his bathroom Friday night. Fell, landing in the tub. Asked my mom to get him a phone. She brought him everything but a phone for a . . . while? All four local sibs were out of town. A brother called 911, I think. I'm still uncertain how Nana handled paramedics taking dad, and I assume she was alone for a little while. It hurts my heart. I live 2 min away. They have daytime caregivers but not at night. Dad resisted that - didn't want daytime care either. 

I feel some guily for supporting their desire to stay in their home, assuming my sisters will blame me. But, my dear friend, Suz, pointed out that people fall in assisted living places too. True, there's no guarantee that he won't fall some place else. 

Having sisters who are unwell, angry elfs complicates this, and frankly life in general. Not new info. I can only dream about having 100% supportive and emotionally stable, consdierate sibs. 

On the other hand, I'm grateful for wonderful friends, who I reached out to after I'd digested the news. How great to count amazing blog friends as part of my squad. Crazy to think that we'd not know each other aside from stumbling on one another in the internet, you know? 

Dad broke his hip. Local hospital said he needed surgery. They transferred him to UIC in the city. Marie and husband drove in from Milwaukee. Pat came home from Indiana later in the day (?), where he was visiting his son at college.

UIC decided not to do surgery. This makes me sad, because I feel like a broken hip that they don't fix is a kiss of death. I know his days were numbered to begin with. He's 86. But is this it? Will he just slip away now? Also bummer he wasn't left at local hospital, because UIC is not easy to get to for any of us. 

Long time readers will recall Dad being thrown from a horse in Yellowstone about 10 years ago. We thought he'd die then. All that to say, he's a fighter. I guess Marie/Pat couldn't be with him while he was in the ER waiting for a room for most of the day. But staff said he was asking when Notre Dame played. Positive sign? He's lucid. He's himself. 

I read the text Sat morning, and sobbed in my bed for awhile. Then I told Coach: We will say nothing to anyone. This will be shared Sunday. Not today. 

Coach had already texted his folks to pray for dad, so I said, That's fine. Text them back and say we aren't telling our kids yet. We will all enjoy the wedding. (damn it)

That's what we did. My in laws did mention it to a few of Coach's siblings, but his sibs were discreet, showing their support and asking for updates. 

We hosted the between-events aka layover party at our VRBO. It was a blast. All Coach's sibs and all their kids and his folks were there. Lad and his GF were there. Everyone appreciated the food and drink and space to relax. Once the 9-kid cousin family arrived, I video chatted Curly. I'd asked her if it would make her sad to see everyone, like FOMO, but she said she'd be fine. She had a party to go to Saturday night anyway. 

I saw her smiling face, and her bestie cousin hollered, CURRRRLLY! I handed cousin the phone and slipped out on the empty deck and balled my eyes out. I think it was everything - missing her at the event, but mostly knowing that Sunday I'd have to explain Da's condition. I've always suspected that attending a distant college would be hard when health issues or loss of life crop up for her four elderly grandparents.  (How blessed to be 18 and have all 4 grandparents?)

Coach's sis is a social worker in a nursing home, and she was a good recousce Saturday, saying this might not necessarily be the end for him. 

I'm drafting this while we (and by 'we' I mean Coach) drive home, and Ed called to tell us about his gf's sis wedding. "Might be the best night of my life." He described the venue - very high end - floor to ceiling windows overlooking the skyline and all the special touches. Mini whispered to me:  Wait, how do we communicate that the wedding we were at was better than his?" 

Shenanigans are a competitve people, and a comedic group. Tank was trying to set my laptop up on his hotspot for me. When he handed it back to me, he had it open to the Miralax home page. 

*****

Highs and lows from your weekend? Do you prefer a band or a DJ at a wedding? 

I'm behind on responding to comments: But pre-niece wedding frustrations abound.

I have a chapter due for my writers group. I don't read it till Monday, but this group - prefers the submissoin at least 5 days in advance. My smaller group, an offshoot of the big group - 6 of us who are locked in and committed, meets on the opposite Mondays of the big group. Small group is more flexible - turn something in Sunday night, no biggie. 

Anyway, I'm almost done. I'm whittling it down, so that it doesn't exceed the wordcount max (you read my blog, so you're nodding along, understanding my wordy-writer predicament). 

But almost done is not the same as Done, and the Shenanigan side niece's wedding is in a few days and why is everyone calling me Now, asking about 'stuff' while I'm dealing with pre-travel details that come with corralling our people and driving to Kansas City?

Also, Coach is struggling to walk, or sit, or stand. His back is messed up.

Let's pause here, so we're on the same level, frustration-wise. He's a PT. He treats this stuff. He works with people in the biz. You know? He says he's too busy to ask someone to look at him, or go somewhere. He believes he needs to be dry-needled and no one else in his clinic does that, aside from him. I'm team:  cancel work, or take an afternoon off, be seen - so it feels better for the weekend.

Unrelated, but stressful:  a guy who works for him gave 2 weeks notice, so he can work in the city. That's two PT slots he needs to fill. Coach's boss called him today to ask if he's ready to switch his schedule back to two late nights a week:  Tues/Thurs. Dear God, we cannot go back to that. 

Logistics:  we leave Friday morning with Mini, Tank, Kay, and Rae. Lad is driving separate with his girlfriend and his two dogs. This boggles the mind, but onward. Reg is driving from Omaha. When Coach and I drove there last weekend for parent weekend, we drove two cars. We left Tex with Reg. Reg will drive himself to and from the wedding in Tex and then he'll drive Tex home for fall break. 

The TO DO LIST:  Today, while babysitting for four littles, let's hope I accomplish food prep and packing. Thank God my job offers nap time for personal tasks. We're staying in a VRBO, so I'm making egg casserole in advance to heat up Saturday morning. Packing sandwich stuff. Fruit. Car snacks. Plus loads of my  'specific' food. Also, Coach's sibs and parents will hang at our rental during the 'layover' between the mass and the reception. So, 7 layer taco dip, pumpkin bread, and drinks. Kay and I made 6 loaves of p. bread Tuesday night.  

After the babies leave at 4 today, I pick up Kay around 4:30. She and I have adoption preservation therapy at our house at 6:15. I have book club at 7, which I'll be late for. I might skip it. I'd like to go, at least for a bit. 

Believe you me, I thought I'd mapped things out well in advance and the rest of the week would be smooth sailing, exhibit A:  

On Sunday, when Coach and I were driving back from Omaha, Tank called:  I need to come home and shop for a suit or something (It'll have to be Monday, so they have time to alter something). 

He was golfing in the burbs for a work event on Monday, so we met at the mall, where I had one hour before my small writers group (wasn't my turn to read). Mini came too. Both of them - translates to a comedic adventure. 

I usually work with Michael at Von Maur, when buying my guys their suits or sport coats. I had no time to figure out Michael's schedule. The 3 of us stood in the men's suit dept. A very young woman was helping a customer shop for a dress shirt. She asked if we needed help, alerted me that Michael was off, but that Rita would be able to help us. I said 'great', but to Tank and Mini I whispered, 'Rita better not also be twelve years old like this girl, because I'd not be very confident in her suit ordering capablities.' 

Tank:  Hmm, I think if her name is Rita, she's an older person. When did you last meet a 12 yo named Rita? 

Tank got a very nice black suit, and Rita, who was from Ireland - so we had things to chat about and she was lovely, sold us a nice shirt and tie and reversible belt. 

Tank was trying on a brown belt, but I said, 'You'll need a black belt.' I didn't realize that he'd hung his belt on the rack while trying on the brown one. I picked up his abomination belt, thinking it was something the store was offering to its fine customers. My face crumpled, What is THIS? 

Tank:  Yeah, uh, that's why I need a belt. 

THE UNRAVELING:  So, Wednesday when Coach and I got back from our separate grocery/Costco trips, we had a few hours alone, while Kay and Rae were at their Wednesday evening thing. Great. 

Reg called first. What tie am I bringing? Do I need any other fancy outfits? Can you bring me socks from home? Not sure where all my socks are. Also, I need another charger. Should be one at home (sends a blurry picture of the kind he wants). 

He puts us on video, so we can tour his closet, but it looked more like a dirty clothes hamper and I can't do it. 

Me:  Dad and I are on a date. In our kitchen. Basically we're talking, OK? Bye. Love you.

Literal minutes later, I'm pulling veggies out of the fridge to start chopping, not because I wanted to start chopping but I was feeling a wave of WTF, how am I gonna get everything done and stress chopping made sense.  

Lad calls:  Hi, I'm at the rental suit place right now. GF's wearing a gold dress. (folks, it's Wed night. I'll not bore you with the number of conversations I've had with him about renting or buying a suit for this black tie optional affair).  

Me:  Doesn't matter what she's wearing. This isn't prom. You don't need to match.

I plan to wear this to the welcome party
with black heels, black bolero, black clutch. 

Lad:  Is dad wearing a tux? (no, a charcoal suit - I proceed to list other brothers/their suit colors, etc.) I don't have fancy shoes (doesn't the rental place rent them?) Why are you acting mean? Do you want me to hang up and call GF? (I'm talking like someone who told you to figure out a suit weeks ago, and I'm busy) Will the shirts you bought me for Christmas go with the rental suit, if I get a black or a navy suit? (No clue. I'm standing in my kitchen and I don't recall what the dress shirts look like. I'm guessing they'll work seeing as they're dress shirts, but they weren't solid, right?). 

Coach, from the family room, where he's lying down, grimacing with back pain:  Why are you talking like that? (I'm NOT being mean, I'm answering his questions. How the hell do I know what shirt will match what - I'm not there. I'm here). 

Me:  How much is it to rent a suit?

Lad:  So so much, because I have to have it shipped to Kansas City.

To the mass with comfy
 beigh wedge sandals.

Me:  What?

Lad:  Or I have to come back here to pick it up (yes, do That. Just pick it up there. - later it occurs to me that I have no idea where 'there' is.)

I had to leave to pick up Kay and Rae. Coach offered to, but he'd already dropped them off - two different times, because Rae had volleyball and arrived late. Then he said he'd start chopping veggies for the 7 layer, if that would help - because I sounded stressed. 

Yes, that would help. Too bad he couldn't help me choose an ending for my chapter. I have 200 words left to wrap it up. 

Not the best pic, but I'm wearing these
with my fancy dress. Made of like clear
fabric with fabric slowers. Gold block
 heel and there are gold
accents on my teal dress. 

None of this is not taking into account that Mini tried to tell me on Monday night that I couldn't wear my strapless dress with the red flowers to the welcome party, claiming it's not cocktail attire. I sent photos to fashionista friends on Tuesday and both said, Yes, it works for the welcome party. 

Mini also hated the shoes I found for the wedding. It's been an age since I wore fancy-shmancy heels and I must have comfortable shoes. My bestie, Becky, came over and loved my shoe choices. So, there. I thought choosing shoes and welcome party outfits were my biggest problems and then I could relax. Silly me. 

Joe Pesci in My Cousin Vinny.

Now, I think I'm gonna wear a more casual dress to the church. Why be in the fancy dress all damn day? Stay tuned for the aftermath to learn how we fit all of the stuff in the car. Whether or not Lad showed up looking like the lawyer in My Cousin Vinny's Wedding. At this rate, I'm not sure if I will survive when one of our offspring gets married. (Catering. Tux rentals. Right? That will be easier). 

My chapter needs an ending. That'll be my project during morning naps, I guess. 

*****

If you've made it thru this stream of consciousness post, tell me which bit would frustrate you the most? Fashion tips based on the pics I've shown? 

Coach and I: confusion, warts and all

On Friday, Sept. 11th, Coach had his first routine colonoscopy. He's almost 55 and we won't talk about how much pestering it took on my part to get that procedure scheduled. That's a different sort of post. *sigh* It was initially scheduled for last month, but he got a sore throat/cold and it had to be rescheduled at the last minute.

A few days before his initial procedure (before it was cancelled) he went to bed without making the Jello he bought - that he planned to feast on the next day when he could only ingest clear fluids. This was the night when Mini called me from the runway, when her flight was so delayed. While I talked her off the ledge - convincing her that she'd not lose her job if her flight was cancelled, I looked for Coach's Jello stash. He was already in bed. 

Me, to myself between sharing soothing, supportive words to Mini:  He told me he bought some Jello, but Jello doesn't make itself. Where did he put it?

I found the grocery bag on the dining room table. Why it was hidden is a mystery that we are not gonna solve today. I pulled out a box:  Jello Pudding. 

He bought pudding when he needed a clear diet, because he identified the word 'Jello'. I made some old boxes of Jello that I found in my cabinet, but dang - I couldn't stop chuckling over his pudding mistake. He'd also planned to drink Ensure shakes, but I noticed that he bought the wrong kind of those too. Fortunately, he didn't need to do the prep because of his cold, but prior to the Sept 11th appt. - I bought the Jello for the redo. 

He prepared it, and he ate it. 

* Also, during the summer, he told me he was having his colonscopy on some random date. I was confused. "Have you seen the doc yet?" He explained that he hadn't, but that he was gonna meet him the day of his colonscopy. Huh? Turned out, he thought he'd signed up for a colonscopy just by scheduling the visit with the doc. I was like, Yeah, as a frequent flyer with this process, pretty sure that's not the way this is gonna work. 

*****

On Sept 11th, I believed his coloscopy was in the building next to my dermatology appointment. The day before, I finally moved my derma. appointment from 10:40 to 9 am, because he told me that I couldn't leave the building since I was his driver. What? I'll be right next door. He had to be there by 9:30. 

He dropped me off at the dermatologist at 9 . . . uh, I might've been running a few minutes late. My skin issue, by the way - is warts. That's another post, too. Get excited.

When I was done, I ran down to Coach, who was waiting in the car, so we could drive to his procedure . . . um, I guess my brain malfunctioned, because I was convinced that the address he had to be at was in the same complex. Maybe it's because one of my (5? 7? I've lost count) colonoscopies was in one of the red brick buildings where my dermatologist is. 

Oops. It was ten minutes away and Coach was ticked. I apologized profusely.  His doctor was running late anyway, so it ended fine. They think all went well - a few polyps sent to pathology to be checked, which of course reminded me of my first colonocopy:

They took out a few polyps. I was about 24. I was recovering in (my sister) Ann's living room afterward. My folks were living in Buffalo. Not sure what he was in the news for, but Colin Powell (pronounced Colon Powell) was being discussed for something. I was groggy. When Ann came in to check on me, I asked her, "Why are they talking about my colon polyp on the news?" 

Even Tank admitted that Coach's colonscopy was the most advertised proceedure he's ever heard of thanks to Coach's constant updates and funny memes in the group chat. 

Rookie. 

*******

Do you or your people need to be urged to do the routine medical things? What's the thing you or someone you know bought - thinking it was something else? Do you like Jello? (I love it) Have you gotten address of places confused, assumed things were closer to another place than they were? Or believed doc appts were Here vs There?