Ciao! the drama as we are about to depart

I am behind on reading blogs and responding to comments. Forgive me. I'm hoping when I plop on a seat at the gate while waiting for our flight I'll have some time. 

I've been making food, going to the doctor, and checking a million things off my list. And today was all about putting out fires. But first - 

My kitchen counter. Lists and
 snacks to pack galore. What if Italy
doesn't have enough GF food for me? 

Paper lists are my jam:  I like to travel with a paper list of where we're staying, etc. I sat down to make said list Monday afternoon right before I left for my doc appointment (I got an antibiotic just in case, but am hoping continuing with the steroid inhaler is sufficient). That's when I realized that I made the reservation for Rome from Thursday till Sunday and it was supposed to be thru Monday. Essentially we were gonna be homeless for one night. 

The hotel cis booked that night, but they helped me find another room. Technically they helped Coach. I handed him my phone as I walked out to the doc, so he and the guy could figure it out. It's a bummer, but if that's the worst thing that happens on our trip - no sweat. Coach was like - good thing you realized it now. Sunday isn't our busiest day. We'll have to move our stuff to a hotel that's a 5 min walk away. Stinky poop, but whatev.

On the home front, things are beyond stinky poop, so I wish I could go back to when the hotel room was the most challenging thing on my plate. 

Long story really short:  Kay and Rae are boy crazy. That's an understatement. Please do not tell me in comments how normal this is for their ages. We're a couple dozen notches past normal. I'll refrain from explaining, but trust me. My guess is they were taught at a young age that without a boy liking you, you're nothing. 

Gross. 

Anyway, we've been onto Kay and her down right obsession with this boy in her class. We called her out on it, and she lied. We found out that she and this boy are 'dating'. That might seem harmless and I get that they aren't doing anything, but she knows it's against our rules. And she lied. And this boy is not into girls but she wouldn't leave him alone, etc. etc. His mom works at the school, so I spoke to her about it and she was blown away. None of the teachers saw anything and it's a really small school. 

The teachers addressed it at school. The other mom discussed it at home with her husband and their son, and she texted me to let me know I was right. Her kid is in trouble for being deceitful, etc. Then she let me know that Rae is also dating someone. 

I was like C'MON! We went round and round with her last year and she knows the rule. 

The 'talk' Coach and I had with her tonight did not go well. She was incredibly disrespectful. She might end up missing her 8th grade trip (they go on a party bus to local spots and have dinner out, etc. and she's been so looking forward to it). It was like someone flipped a switch in her and she went dark side in the blink of an eye. 

I feel like the kids at the school were perfectly fine and innocent and sweet and then we enrolled our girls and they stirred the pot and got everyone all worked up and now people are in trouble and upset and damn it ANYWAY. 

We leave tonight, and Reg and Curly will be here with the girls for 2 days while they finish up the school week and then they get dropped off at respite care on Friday by their social worker. I'm not looking for advice or judgement about our rules (what we're doing isn't the same as regular parenting, trust me). We have a therapist, who is awesome - but this timing? Well, it sucks. 

I thought I'd post a few posts for your reading pleasure while I'm away, but I'm not sure I'll find the time before we depart. 

I hear Italy has wine. And on that note, Ciao for now.

mom's weekend and shadow photo moment and a sock question, etc.

Happy Monday! I'm desperately trying to get to bed on Sunday night, so I'll be brief. 

1. My apologies for not yet responding to the comments on my last (HORRIBLY LENGTHY/DETAILED) wardrobe post. Have you ever posted something and then thought - Well, that could've been done this other way/a better way, etc? Well, here we are. Anyway, I brought my laptop to mom's weekend at Tank's college and never opened it. 

I believe I took this photo of the shadow
 of my computer cord when I returned
 to the hotel at 1:30 am. I felt that the
 shadow resembled a bunny.
Makes sense, right?

2. Too busy having fun:  Tank's fraternity has not done a mom's thing (while he's been there) until this, his senior year. I enjoyed the heck out of it. Laughed my butt off. Met a ton of new-to-me moms, because some of the usuals weren't there. Would've been nice if Creighton won their game. We ate at a restaurant while watching the game and it put a bit of a damper on the evening. 

Tank wanted to me to stay at the Cottonwood.
 Um, he wasn't paying my bill, but I
 complied and it was a lovely experience.
The workout room was amazing. And yes,
 I did get up and worked out at 8:30ish
 the next morning after my bunny
 shadow picture taking night.
You seem surprised. 

3. Respite care is in place. I spoke to a woman that our social worker found for us. We chatted for 45 minutes and I feel good about leaving the girls with her/her family. She and I see things eye to eye, it seems. 

4. SLEEP:  The night before I left, Mini called. Damn it. She was travelling to Paris the next day and when she is about to travel, she often can't sleep. This was the case. Bugger. Last time it happened, we talked and she slept and I was so hopeful. But an hour later she called again. I cringed and wanted to bang my head against the wall when I saw it was her. Shit balls. Anxiety sucks. She managed 1 lousy hour of sleep before having to be up, but she LOVED Paris. Her fav city to date. 

I meant to take a photo of the hundred
guys and several dozen moms hanging
 out in the front of this house for a
Saturday afternoon party, but this
 is after people left. I was one of the
 last ones there. Surely
you aren't surprised. 

I didn't sleep great Thursday night - didn't eat anything after taking my Miralax (all because I was going to bed so early). I drove to Creighton 6.5 hours, while so tired. Then stayed out till 1:30 am Friday night, which thrilled Tank, because when Coach is along, we don't stay out that late. 

And then . . . 

5. ADVAIR:  I did a dumb thing - I stopped taking my Advair steroid inhaler a few days before I left because I WAS FINE. Well, shit. I was a mess Saturday night even though I went to bed after the bar vs going to a fraternity party. I wanted to be well rested for my drive home. Bah ha ha. At 2 am, I was wheezing. It's like that damn cold was only hiding out, but popped right back up when the Advair wasn't in action. I packed the Advair and started it again, but it take a few days to kick in. I'm really hoping to feel better before we leave on Wednesday night, and I'm not sure if I need an antibiotic. My cold symptoms are minor so long as I stay on the Advair.

Bonus:  I started the book The Rose Code, got it on an audiobook too (took me longer than it should've and added to my Thursday night frustration). I love it. I listened to a lot of it on my drive. 

*****

Have you read The Rose Code? Does anyone swear by their no-show socks? You know the ones that are barely a sock - more like a toe and heel cover? I hate the ones that slip off my heel when I wear loafers.  

Not-a-runway-model contender: my wardrobe choices for Italy photo dump, etc.

I leave for Omaha on Friday for Tank's mom's weekend, returning Sunday. I babysit M, Tu, W, and our flight takes off Wed. at 8 pm. I'm not quite in panic mode, but I'm in the pre-panic mode zone of 

WHAT SHOULD I DO RIGHT NOW WHEN I FIND MYSELF WITH A FEW MINUTES? WHAT HAVE I FORGOTTEN? WILL I GET EVERYTHING DONE IN TIME? WHAT NO-SHOW SOCKS WON'T SLIP OFF MY HEEL AND CURL UP UNDER MY FOOT AND DRIVE ME BANANAS?

Tank's text to me:

Rae got snippy with me after dinner Tues night. I was steamed. (Coach works late Tu/Thurs, of course). I went into my room and decided to take photos of the outfits I'm contemplating packing, in particular note:  WHICH SHOES GO WITH WHAT, because I'm hoping to only bring two pairs, maybe three??? 

I started out doing timed photos, but when I heard the girls come back inside after playing outside, I hatched a plan. I went downstairs and invited Kay to come up to my room. Rae was reading in the living room, probably wondering what we were up to. Hanging in my room isn't standard (not even for me, mind you).

I asked Kay if she wanted to snap photos of me modeling outfits. She was delighted, chuckling at the MANY unflattering facial expression photos. I was on a mission (these won't be included in the annual Christmas poem photo collage) and I was also not planning to include my face in the photos as they were for the blog-osphere anyway. Still, laughter and 'Do you like these shoes?' served as a bonding opportunity. 

My takeaway:  maybe I go shopping for new wardrobe items more often and ask the little girls to weigh in ? Or maybe I should plan to go out of the country more often? Or draft more fashion focused posts? 

When we were about 3/4 of the way thru my mound of clothes, I called Rae up. She FULLY enjoyed being in the loop/part of the fun. While I wardrobe changed, Kay took the liberty of flipping back thru earlier funny shots so she and Rae could die laughing. 

The library was gonna close and I'd intended to get a book. Kay reminded me she still needed a protractor. Blasted. I raced to the library. Then the grocery store to hold the fam over for the weekend and REMEMBERED the elusive protractor. Do not ask me how many trips to the store have been organized to BUY the protractor but no such thing has been purchased. Ugh. 

Today after school, I'll take a few minutes to 'splain to Rae how she stepped in it with me. (Coach already shared an overview of her issue while I was at the grocery, but I'll be sure she 'gets' it). 

If my life sounds exhausting right 'bout now, it really is. But at least I didn't go into space for a weekend and end up being stuck there for 9 months. Right?

We asked the girls' social worker if the girls can go to a respite placement during our trip. 

All along, we figured the adoption would be finalized when we travelled. Since it isn't, we could utilize this available resource. While we plan to have Reg, a couple of aunts, Curly, and Ed rotate as caregivers, the girls have made some poor choices lately (esp Kay). We're nervous about tasking the young and helpful Reg with the majority of their care. The girls will probably be unhappy about if this happens, but it might simplify things be less stressful. 

Photo dump . . . 

Mini HATED these shoes.
Very pricey
 and I have no problem
returning them. I did
some grab and figure
 it out at home shopping. 

Meet the shoes:  most are new or newish and I want to choose which I'm brining, so I can wear them around the house and be sure they don't hurt/need to be worn in. 

I might return a pair or two (def returning a pair that Mini saw a photo of and
HATED).  I do not mind investing in great shoes that I think will be around forEVAH. 

I asked the salesman for advice, when I bought the Paul Greens and the Vejas and the Mini-hates-them silver sparkle running shoes. (I didn't share a zillion photos of my outfits with him):  

Salesguy:  "My suggestion is that you just wear the shoes that you like, and if you go out with confidence, then you make the shoes work for you." 

Um, yeah. So, he basically challenged me to be a trend setter, and that's not my role in the universe. I can break a record of diapering, and loading 7 tots/babies in my big ass van. I can bake a crazy good batch of cookies. But capable of making lasting fashion statements? No sirree. 

*note that the blog refused to let me have any say in where the photos landed, thus the disordered alphabet system below. 

#1 White Veja fashion sneakers seem to
work with a lot of the outfits. Ed's girlfriend,
Leah, liked them. Ed died laughing,
seeing them as nursing home fashion,
seeing as the shoes have Velcro closures.
Curly had a similar reaction. Let's preface
 this with:  Curly typically
 wears sweats and hoodies. 

#2 Ron White tan loafers. OMG - crazy money, but I first bought them on sale at Nordstrom to think about it. Then found them at Von Maur for $100 LESS than I paid for them at Nordstrom. I think I'll probably keep them, even if I don't bring them on this trip. 

#3 black loafers, I bought them
 last year, and I admit that I
 forgot about them. Started wearing
 them the last few months. They're
 comfortable until they're not,
 so not a great choice for
 loads of walking. Sam Edelman. 

#4 Mephisto. I bought these on a
 great sale- a year ago? Initially
 I wasn't crazy about the gold
 fleck in them, but this brand
 doesn't disappoint in terms of
 comfort, bonus:  not as
clunky/heavy as loafers #3. 

#5 Silver Paul Green fashion sneakers.
 Really comfy, but not sure
they dress up the outfits
 I need dressed up
 (assuming I take the nursing home
 Vejas with the Velcro).
 If I don't bring them,
 might return them. I
 hate to pass up on a great deal, but
 these shoes were crazy pricey
 even on sale. Hello, Paul Green! 

#5 Paul Green silver shoe profile,
 because if they're going be returned
 we might as well admire them first, right? 

#6  Black and white
fashion sneakers. I bought
 these in January and they are really
 comfy. Leah really liked them
 with most of my outfits. 

#7  Mephisto flats. These are
 really comfy and
 maybe I bring them as
my third pair
because they don't take
 up a ton of space.
Maybe they serve as dressing
 up some outfits. 

I was gonna go with the black North Face
that has a hood and is water resistant,
 but then I saw this trench coat.
 Also water resistant, and has a hood. 

The North Face.
Hmm?

Outfit A:  Love this sweater, but
 it was dumb pricey, and I think
 I'm gonna take it back. It's
Eileen Fisher. There are sweaters
that look like this for less, and I don't
 NEED it. I do love these black
 pants. They have a wax
like finish to them. 

Outfit C:  This navy shirt
 and these
 blue/gray pants are new.
 Love them. The pants are
 Rhone. *Also bought them in
 black. They were on sale.
They do not wrinkle and were
 exactly what I was wanted
 for traveling. I'm
 not crazy about
 ankle length
(issues from my
 childhood wearing shorter
older sisters' castoffs). 
I know they're
 acceptable, and I'm
working thru it. 

Outfit B:  I'm not wild about
 super wide legs, but these
 pants are the exception.
 So soft. Kut from the
 Cloth brand. Full length,
 yeah. These will wrinkle. 

Outfit D:  I'm wild about this
 little zip up sweater for layering. 

Outfit F:  The red shirt is new.
 I bought it for Curly and I to share,
 but then ordered another one,
 because we didn't want to share.
 It was marked down so low.
 I think you can see the
 pants better in this pic. 

Outfit E:  Thoughts on the red
 striped shirt under the red
jacket? I do have other pants.

Outfit G:  Thoughts on this poncho?
 I've had it for years - I feel like most of my clothes are solids and this is a little fun.
Curly hates it, almost as much as she hates the silver shoes. I tried the poncho on with a
 white shirt under it too, I think the black is better. I think it looks decent with the
 blue gray ANKLE lengthpants. (I'm shouting about the length)

Outfit H:  Blue
jacket with
 the black
 ankle pants.
Loafers? Shoe
 suggestions?

Outfit I:  Ankle pants with
a fun shirt I've had for a few years. 

Outfit J: Black scoop neck dress
with Lulu leggings. 
The great dress debate.
 Bring both dresses? Which shoes?
 I've had this one for years,
light weight. Gathers in the
 skirt at the sides, cute
 little details. 3/4 sleeves. 

Outfit K:  black scoop
neck dress with
the flats. Hmm?

Option L:  black scoop neck
with the black soccer
 shoe looking fashion sneakers.

Option M:  WHAT HAPPENED HERE?
If you've actually scrolled thru all
 of these photos, I decided to
sneak in one legit 'me' photo.
 Might delete it eventually.
 With the Mephisto loafers.

Option N:  Kuhl brand long
sleeve dress. I love it.
My girls are 'meh' on it.
 Not sure I care. But knowing I'm
 not big on accessorizing (does
 a jean jacket count as an
 accessory?), does it make me
 look like I lost my way from
 the nunnery in Rome?
 There's a touch of
 wool in the dress, so it's
 a bit warmer/more substantial
 than the scoop neck.
 My idea of being a little dressy.

Outfit O:  Being lazy
and demonstrating
two shoes at once. Me wondering
 if the sliver shoes work here.
Might not even bring this
 poncho thing, but better
with the blue/gray pants?

Outfit P:  or with the Vejas.

Outfit Q:  making a case
for the tan loafers. If
I'm wearing black so often,
 thinking I leave this pair at home.

Outfit R:  This is a bright
 tunic that my kids
make fun of on the hanger,
but on - it's cute, right?
 My mom bought it for
 me for Christmas several
 years ago. I don't wear
 it much, because it's
 a LOT, but it wont wrinkle. 

Outfit S:  I bought these
two shirts (this one's green)
 when we went to see Ed in
 Budapest in 2022. They don't
 wrinkle. Leah suggested I
 wear a shirt under and unbutton
 part way to make it look less
 blah? Not sold on
 bringing either of them. 

Outfit T:  same thing, cream
 colored shirt, silky
but heavy. With Vejas.

Outfit U:  I love this cream top
that I bought in the fall, and
 I decided this makes the cream
Eileen Fisher sweater unnecessary.
Again, my thinking is that the tan
 shoes aren't gonna work with so
 many black pant options. Thoughts?
 Like would you pair the tan
loafers with either of the
 black dresses/leggings? 

Outfit V:  The girls cracked up
 at my silly poses. This tan
 striped shirt is the same
as the red striped one. 

Outfit W:  not sold
 on bringing the
 jeans jacket, but it is
 my go to for layering. 

Option X:  Same green shirt option
with the black fashion sneakers.

Me using the timer before the girls stepped in. 

Are you still here?

THAT WAS MORE THAN YOU BARGAINED FOR.

Open to your suggestions. It was a lot (and I'm still committed to just the carry on and the personal item), but do you have 4 or 5 favorite pieces/outfits/shoes? I will not be hurt if you hate/strongly dislike something. 

I have teenagers. I'm wicked thick-skinned. 

Pausing the daycare intel to SCREAM

HAPPY ST. PAT'S DAY! (this is an after thought, perhaps because in my life EVERY day is St. Patrick's Day)

If you lived near me, I'd invite you over for a cuppa tea and a slice of warm Irish Soda Bread (my version is NOT dry, thanks to Nana Murphy's recipe).

Everything is fine. Really. But dang nab it . . . some uncool sh*t has gone down in Shenaninganville. 

Not catching a break on spring break:  In an effort to make my posts less LENGTHY, I'll share the hiccups Tank and Mini ran into on spring break next time. They're FINE, but so frustrating - especially poor Tank. 

The streak has been broken:  Thursday after the tots were picked up, my throat felt funny. Uh-oh. The babies have had a terrible cold. Nothing new. I wipe noses for a living. My hands are so chapped from constant washing. I NEVER get their colds. Well, not in FOREVER. Maybe a few years? 

I didn't sleep great Thursday night - my nose was congested. In the middle of the night, I reorganized our entire medicine bin, waiting for gravity to help drain my nose. Afrin spray, check. I uncovered one night-time decongestant. There were about 50 day-time decongestants, because my people apparently care about sleeping when they have a cold and no one uses the daytime pills.

Once I started moving on Friday, I felt fine. Ran 4.5 miles outside. 

Me:  This'll be a cold that only irritates me at night. The first day is the worst. I'll be fine in no time. 

Friday night was torturous. I gathered enough pillows to prop behind me to sleep upright. Saturday morning I woke up and was like OH NO! My chest was tight. 

I had pneumonia in college. Now my body (not every time, but usually) directs germs directly to my lungs. The cold wasn't even bad. My Advair steroid inhaler was gone. Used it up and not replaced it? I only use it once a year or less. I got one from the pharmacy, but it takes a few days for the steroid to kick in and my bronchials are angry. Damn it. 

Saturday evening I decided I needed to do a nebulizer breathing treatment. Lad came over to watch the Creighton game. I'd been cleaning house, because Ed and his GF are coming for dinner tonight (drafting this Sunday morning). 

Me:  Lad do you still have my nebulizer machine? (yes, he did. Back at his house. UGH! I wasn't gonna make him go all the way home to get it, because I was pretty sure I didn't have the nebulizer med vials anyway).  

The pharmacy told me Sunday that I have no refills on the neb meds and they wouldn't push thru a few till my doc could call a refill. "Go to urgent care." I'd rather wheeze all day, thank you. 

I think the Advair is kicking in. I'm surviving. I drive back to Creighton Friday for Mom's weekend. Then the 26th we fly to Italy. Better that I caught this nastiness now and not later, right? If I don't bounce back my Wed, I'm gonna see my amazing GP. 

1 of 3. I meant to make 2, but I
had so many veggies to add,
 I decided to add a third.

I'm cleaning house to prep for our dinner guests, but also because I want the house ordered and clean before our Italy trip and this is my last chance (other than the stuff I can tackle while babysitting). 

Yesterday

* I spent almost 2 hours searching google photos for Rae's school scrapbook project

* baked cookies

Today

* I loaded 3 crockpots of pot roast, Ed's fav. (I plan to send him  home with one of my crockpots. It's not tailgate season, so I can live without). 

*Gonna make Irish Soda Bread. 

These seem small? Is it me?
We'll be gone 9 days.
I don't want to check a bag.

* Heading to a resale for foster moms this afternoon. When the resale part ends,  foster moms are invited to the free leftover clothes/books.

Did I mention that Coach is teaching a class this weekend? Local. He's here, but not HERE. Ed's GF is gonna weigh in on outfits I should pack and new shoes I should keep, teaching me (a non-fashionista) which shoes can be worn with what clothes. Translation:  I need my room in tip-top shape. We're planning to just bring a carry-on and a personal item. I ordered new luggage. Why does it look SO SMALL?  

By a show of hands, who else wants to see/weigh in on my new Italy trip clothes/shoes? Do you do that? Make a trip more pricey by adding wardrobe pieces? Are you a fashionista? 

Daycare: the start, plus assembling the cast of characters (part 1)

**I was gonna describe my after college/pre-kids jobs, but there are some interesting happenings in my daycare recently, so I'm gonna get to the point. Suffice it to say - EVERY SINGLE JOB I ever had prior to starting my daycare for teachers' kids was a NEWLY CREATED POSITION. Translation:  fuzzy expectations and unsatisfying results**

I worked outside the home for a few years when Curly was preschool age. 

1.  I substitute taught. There was an app on my phone and on my desktop. It made a shrill sound that, if heard it now, would cause PTSD. I'd race off when I heard it, hoping it was a job that would work out. The kids were invested:  Is that the jobulator? Mommy - did you get it, or did someone else get it? 

2.  I worked at a Catholic school 2o miles from home, doing marketing stuff:  I ran a mom and tot group, organized open houses, mailed out postcards, started a newsletter to keep in touch with alums, and I ran a turkey shoot b-ball tournament for alums. After a few years, a new principal asked a teacher to manage the FB page. My position was eliminated. A woman I subbed with suggested care.com. I looked into it, and the first family I met (mom worked a teacher schedule) hired me to watch her kids at my house.

That first year I babysat (fall of 2015), I cared for that family with 2 boys, 2 or 3 days a week. The next year a guy Coach works with whose wife is a teacher, was looking for care for his one year old son. I added them, and the rest is history.

This year:  8 families - all with 1 kid. 

Two that are expecting a second. (yowza). 

** editing to add another family showed up today and announced they are ALSO having a baby . . . twins, due in early October. So, make that THREE THAT ARE EXPECTING, BUT A TOTAL OF FOUR INFANTS NEXT YEAR. (I will not be watching ALL of those infants, the plot thickens)

Not everyone comes on the same day. My brain in Sept? Frazzled, as I figure who's napping in which room and try to keep straight who is showing up on any given day. While I have babysat 5 days a week in the past, I put my foot down a few years ago and said ONLY MON-THURS, PLAN ACCORDINGLY, and none of my families who claimed they 'needed' Fridays quit. That was a solid step towards a happier me. 

If you're good at math, try this:  I have 3 families 2x a week, 2 families 4x a week, and 3 families 3x a week. That's a lot of kids per my 4 day work week.  

The gang on Wednesday
at a forest preserve.

Starting fresh:  Most of my crew graduated to school in the fall. 2 families returned. I was scrounging. 

Cece, whose kids I watched for 5 years but who are in school, highly recommended me on a few FB posts and warmed my heart ('My babies were so loved and well cared for. Ernie feels like family'). People sought me out left and right. 

BUT:  Two families, who locked in a spot with me in the spring, informed me mid summer that they'd changed plans. So frustrating. I don't require $$ to hold a spot. Maybe I should. There are people, maybe you're familiar, who don't process how their actions impact others.  

It all worked out, but adding families is exhausting, because you never really know them till they're HERE in the flesh. 

Not joking, early in the school year I would think - OK, DAY OVER, EVERYONE HAS BEEN PICKED UP . . . then I'd look down and notice a set of tiny shoes and one more diaper bag, and realize I still had someone sleeping upstairs.

*****

Have you ever had a newly created position? Has your position ever been eliminated? Ever worked somewhere and been replaced by the boss' daughter? (I have!)

thank you Pandemic Pants

My gut update:  November 1st I went to the hospital to have a small bowel test. How do I remember the date? Because I read NaPoBloMo posts while I paced the halls. 

I had to fast. When I got dressed that morning, I chose a pair of black stretchy, formerly-fashionable, past-their-prime pants. These were my Pandemic Pants. They're black and basically sweats, but they're straight legged and a bit more streamlined. I'd call them formerly high-fashion, but I'm not sure if that was ever the case.

At the hospital:  I had to take everything off, but I could leave on my pants since

Before they gave me the socks, but
Praise the Lord I chose these pants.

they had no zipper. I had to wear a gown and drink TERRIBLE stuff. For one x-ray I had to chug the drink.

Me (to the nurse):  I wasn't good at keg stands in college either. 

They took every x-rays 20 or 30 minutes. I could have chosen to sit around, but she said walking would help move along the junk I drank. I preferred to speed the process, so I paced the halls in the hospital-issued socks and my open-at-the-back gown.

Can you imagine me walking the halls without pants, gown-open-at-the-back? Thanks Pandemic Pants. 

Hard to tell, but there's a drive up to those
 little tent-looking little overhangs BY THE
 WOULD-BE front door, or there's a driveway
 to go below- but nothing is marked from
 a distance, when someone is parking.

*no one told me in advance that pull on pants were recommended. 

**they also didn't tell me that the door that LOOKS like the front door of thehospital ISN'T the door, and I enjoyed parking a distance, then realizing I couldn't get in and walking thru shrubs to get to the lower level where the 'hidden' door actually works as an entrance. 

In my brain:  I'M STARVING. IT'S FREEZING OUT. YOU DIDN'T LABEL THE DOOR 'NOT AN ENTRANCE' (until you've walked up to it), SO NOW I'M WALKING DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS MINUS THE STAIRS - LIKE THRU THE MULCH. 

I'd JUST started back at the end of October on the 10 mg of the SSRI, because the LOW FODMAP diet was failing me. I tried to put off restarting my RX till after the test in hopes they'd have an answer/another approach. The test results:  nothing wrong. Not surprised. That new GI believes my overall issue is constipation.

What? 

I run, drink TONS of water, and eat REALLY healthy, but since I'm willing to try anything, I followed his recommendation and started taking Miralax twice a day, pretending to be 80 years old. That's a lot of Miralax. Let me tell you. This 15 second youtube video Reg showed me killed me. 

I've been doing Mirlax 2x a day since Nov 1st. It's a pain in the you-know-what, pun intended. 

In a nutshell:  I have a backup, and that new GI doctor doesn't know why. (he sent me back to my regular GI, which is fine - but I really liked him). Neither doc seems bothered that they cannot figure out/name my issue. Frustrating, but I'm exhausted from trying to get a diagnosis. 

SIBO caused me so many issues but it's secondary, caused by this natural (??) slowdown in my pipes.

I'd thought about stopping the SSRI to see if Miralax was all I needed. Maybe I didn't need both things. It never seemed like a good time - the holidays, new baby starting in the daycare, etc. 

So, last week, I stopped the SSRI. It was a low dose - no need to wean (I'd weaned off the 25 mg dose last year. When I restarted at 10 mg in late Oct.- it kicked in immediately, so I wasn't worried about pausing it). 

The results:  It wasn't terrible. With only Miralax, I woke up at 3 or 4 am  . . .  unable to go back to sleep for a few hours until I took my prescription antacid that I take every.fricking.morning at 7 am. I'm supposed to take it at the same time, so yo-yo-ing around Not ideal. So I waved the white flag - started the 10 mg SSRI again. It turns out I need both Miralax and the SSRI (and antacid). As far as answers, I guess that's it.  

*****

A few people asked on blogs on Friday:  How was your week? And I couldn't remember much, but:   Oh, yeah. I messed with my sleep. No wonder I can't think. 

We had fun visiting Creighton over the weekend. But messing with my sleep early last week, then getting up at 5:30 am Saturday to drive 6.5 hours and then driving home Sunday afternoon AFTER losing an hour . . . do not recommend. Coach drove the whole way there and back though, which was great. I slept most of the way home. How was your weekend?  Do you have a weird medical issue that cause doctors to shrug? 

These are a few of my favorite FIGs (sung to the tune of Sound of Music favorite things song)

I know it's March, but since I wasn't great at posting some of the things I was grateful for in February . . .  here's my in-no-specific-order list:  

* a great weather warmup - getting to run outside 3x last week (we'll pretend it didn't snow a bit this afternoon)

*  being able to wear contact lenses again 

* Kay and Rae had a playoff b-ball game last week and Nana, Coach, Reg (rarely in town during the week), Curly (her season was over so no practice), and I were all able to attend. They won. 

* while at that game, I managed to speak with 3 staff members/teachers about 3 issues we wanted to address/pick their brains about re:  the girls. 

* Lad has made some good contact with people via networking with my BIL's best friend. Hoping this leads to a new job

the box under the other box: 
 full of more textbooks.
What even?

* decluttering task:  good riddance boxes of extra textbooks that I've been scrounging up from ALL CORNERS OF OUR HOUSE. 

* Curly reaching her goal of 1,000 points. This happened in the last game of the season on the Friday night when Coach was sick, so he missed it. 

* I love love love some of the new parents I sit for this year. And one of them has a sister who is due with a baby in May and probably will want to bring her baby here in the fall. 

*  We are having a difficult time connecting and bonding with Kay. A few weeks ago, I thought:  I should hold her on my lap (she's 12 BTW) and ask her how she's doing. Well, then I HAD to do that. I couldn't NOT do it, ya know? So, I did, joking that I wanted to see how much weight my office chair could hold. I'll expand more in a non-bullet point post. 'Twas a step in the right direction. 

*  Breakfast out with one of my besties to celebrate my birthday, a little late but that's when it worked, and it was delightful. Lingering birthday celebrations:  not a bag thing

*  Ed came home the last Sunday of February, because he finally finished two audits and he didn't have to work cray-cray hours. We ate dinner as a family and played a game. So much fun. 

*  A lengthy phone call, getting caught up with one of my other besties. 

*  A coach called Reg after he had a great game:  I'm the coach of the team you just destroyed, wanna come play for me? (Reg doesn't want to play D3 for him, but it was still a boost).

Turns out referees are more tolerable
after a margarita. Why didn't
I think of this YEARS ago? 

*  Coach and I went for dinner Friday night for Mexican (this was my roll of the dice, uncertain if I'd get sick AND I DIDN'T) on our way to watch Reg's last b-ball game of his season. The girls have therapy on Fridays. They get a ride supplied by DCFS from school to therapy and then home. Built in respite is a godsend for us. 

******

Saturday Coach, myself, and the 4 youngest drive to Creighton to watch b-ball/socialize. There will be stories. Plus, another stitches ordeal. Any guesses? It's a doozie. Stay tuned. 

Is anyone preparing 'bitch fest' posts to offset the pent up frustrations of life while we were all focused on joy? Kidding. Sort of. **I'm looking at you, girls high school basketball situation.**