NaBloPoMo: 5 gratitude weekend moments

The main idea is in bold in case you're skimming: 

1.  Coach flew to NC early Friday morning to take a class. He and I usually spend Friday afternoon together. The girls get picked up straight from school by a driver (this was a service paid for by DCFS before the adoption and now we pay - it's worth its weight in gold), taken to individual therapy, and then brought back around 6:40. I was grateful that he'd be home Sat. night. I could manage one day solo, right? 

2.  My good friend, Delilah, was able to get together Friday night, and it was so great to catch up. We don't see each other often, even though we live a few minutes away. We do have some epic phone chats though. I intended to clean up my kitchen before she arrived, but I didn't get started working on a story that I want to submit for publication until late in the day. I decided Delilah would forgive my cluttered counter (aren't these the best kinds of friends?), so I stuck with my writing project. 

See the stacks of paper? Can we
pretend the filtered light
 coming in softens the look of the mess?

3.  When Delilah arrived, I was in the study reviewing my story. I asked her to step into my 'office' - it's a mess. Chapters with notes and suggestions from my writing group people are stacked all over the place, waiting for me to make updates to my saved document. Anyway, I showed her a glimpse into my process, and I described the funny story I was working on (she enjoys my stories, and I lose track of which she's heard). I scrolled to the beginning, where I rattle off 3 historic moments from 1987, ending with 'And my family experienced a small Christmas miracle.'

Stack and stacks. It's
time for an intervention.

Lightening bolt moment:  I could conclude the story in a similar fashion with historic moments from the year when the situation was resolved. 

4.  Saturday morning I woke up, delayed my workout and focused on that story ending. I think it works well. My small writing group has already heard this story. They're the ones who suggested I try to get it published (with a few touch ups). I'll share it with my big writers group in early December. Feels great to have one of the two writing group submissions done for Dec.

5.  I managed to do most of a strength workout, then gathered the little girls. We had to attend a parent meeting for Coach's varsity b-ball team. I wasn't late despite pushing the envelope to get more of my workout complete. I feared we'd be late for family therapy, but the meeting was fast and we bolted. Family therapy session with Rae went well. Coach was on speaker phone over his lunch at his course, which was a bonus. More on the progress made later. 

BONUS: I was walking out the door to go to mass and Coach texted. He'd hopped on an earlier flight when his class ended early. He'd be home in a few hours, around 6:20 pm! (vs getting home at 10 pm)

*****

What went well in your neck of the woods over the weekend?  Can you work in a room that's this messy?

NaBloPoMo: the middles: Tank (and Mini next time)

That's 10 lbs of baby. The
night before he arrived.

I got sidetracked on the kid intros . . . meet probably our 2 funniest kids (OK, meet Tank, b/c I'm moving Mini's intro to another post - a lengthy combo). Not sure what I was eating or drinking while expecting them (they're not twins - they're 16 mos apart), but they both have a sharp, quick sense of humor. 

Tank - 23 yrs. next month. He graduated (business) from Creighton in May. My largest baby (see above:  What was I eating?), weighing 10 lbs 3 oz - early. (fun fact:  all 6 were induced). Can you imagine if they'd let him balloon in there a few more days? 

As a tot, he had an 80% speech delay. My friend and I nicknamed him Tatanka  from Dances with Wolves, because,  

1. buffalo sized child, and 

2. the language barrier, using hand signals was how he spoke till he logged many hours in speech therapy. He said "applesauce" well enough in the grocery store at age 4 (finally!) that I bought a bunch of it.

His initial blog name:  Tatanka, morphed into Tank.  

I stumbled on this comic strip years after
I named two of my children  . . . um,
wink, wink, nudge, nudge. IFYYK

He's a worker bee. Attended HS in the mornings after it partial re-opened during covid, then warehouse work in the afternoons. Ch-ching. In the summer, he rarely took a day off:  warehousing, caddying, and landscaping. 

He's also an Irish musician (wooden, open-holed flute), a lover of history (reads textbooks for kicks), master imitator (could be a stand up comedian), and a retired Irish dancer  . . . with an untucked shirt, crooked tie, and sticking out tongue - he looked like the town drunk on stage. 

He has ADD, and OCD (lots of ABCs, and his path

Favorite all time
Tank photo.

hasn't been easy, but despite the OCD diagnosis in college, he perseveres) a math learning disability, an unending curiosity/need to learn, and is very frugal. One of my more sensitive kids - the only one to cry at preschool drop off. 

Long time readers, recall the high school ski trip? He begged to go skiing with his best buddy's family. He played the 'HS sucks b/c of covid, everything is cancelled'. I caved. 

Um, we busted him when the mom texted in a group chat:  The boys made it fine. Jay sent this view from their room. I'd been duped. Not a family trip - just he, his buddies, and beer. Classic. 

Ski trip - there was a grandpa,
who do you think bought the beer? 
I wondered if this was a random
 rent a grandpa for the picture.

Mini, a junior in HS -sitting in the kitchen, when I put 2 and 2 together, she fell off her chair laughing. I wasn't so amused. I made him call me constantly to check in and waited to tell Coach until after Tank was home safe. 

Tank lives across the street from Ed downtown and works for a big insurance/risk management business. He told them upfront, "I'll be in the office everyday. I won't learn if I'm not here."

*****

Do you remember Tank's sneaky ski trip? If you've been here for a while, what's your fav Tank story? Did I miss anything?

NaBloPoMo: Riddle me this

While in Tampa briefly last week, I went for a run, and spotted this sign. If you're from Tampa, maybe you know something about this business. It's close to the airport. How could an entire business exist with a singular focus on Bear Hobbies. What is a bear hobby? A stuffed animal? Am I missing something?

*****

The space between the white house
and the sidewalk - not very big.

There's a house around the corner from us that has been on and off the market for years. Last year, they listed part of their property for sale. It's hard to demonstrate this in a photo without walking onto their lawn to get a better angle. Trust me, they're inviting someone to buy up their front lawn, and what? - build a house on it? Surprise, surprise, they've had no takers. 

*****

Halloween. I own one orange shirt.
You're looking at it. I've owned
 it for decades. I wear it
one day a year. I met a friend
 for lunch. She showed up dressed
in an orange shirt and black cardigan.
 "Look at us? You can't beat the
room mom out of us."
~ that cracked me up. 

I decided 10/30th-time for a haircut. I intended to reach out to my hairdresser. She's a curly girl specialist, which means she's technically Curly's stylist. I gave her a try once and discovered, to my delight, that I love the way she does my stupidly thin hair. 

Living with undiagnosed celiac disease most of my adult life (till I had an endoscopy in '15) caused my hair to thin - understatement. No amount of coaxing or vitamins or anything will convince it to fill back in. 

Anyway, the next day, my hair looked phenomenal (for me, anyway). Why, then, do I not trick my few remaining follicles with the Jedi Mind Trick of, "Hmm, I think I need a haircut," more often? Never fails - once I've had the Haircut Thought, my hair looks amazing. 

*****

Any businesses near you that boggle the mind? Would you, could you - buy someone's front lawn and build on it? Does your hair have Murphy's Laws tendencies?  What's boggling your mind recently?

NaBloPoMo: My Four-Ef'd-up-Things Friday

1. Show me the money the postmark:  Purchases at Costco qualified me for a mail-in rebate. I saved my receipt, intended to mail it. I waited, knowing I'd shop there again and have MORE receipts - bigger rebate. 

Halloween, I woke up:  Does that Costco thing need to be postmarked today?" Then I lost my focus. I thought about it the next day.  

It needed to be postmarked 10/31st. I'm on a two year streak of Not mailing my receipt. Will I break the streak next year? Stay tuned. 

2. This was key:  Thurs. morning, I had to drive Kay to school. 

Curly usually drives her, but forget to tell me that she had an early morning meeting Thursday. I was scrambling. I loaded a tot and off we went - racing to be back before other tots arrived. The garage keypad broke last year, maybe two years ago. 

I ordered a new one. Coach waited a year and then put it up. But - it didn't work, or he couldn't find it? He put the original one back up, and declared:  Look, it works. 

Me:  It works in the warm weather, wait till winter. 

Does our house need dark gray garage
 doors, or should we stick with white?

Guess what? It's cold, so not working.

Curly's opener hasn't been working, so she put GW's opener in her car.

I unlocked the minivan on the driveway before I drove Kay to school, so when I got back I could use the minivan's built in opener. When I got back, I realized I'd clicked the LOCK button. The minivan key fob was in the house. 

My heart stopped. Was I locked out?

The black streak down
 the door - can't be good.

I ran to the back door. Unlocked - THANK GOODNESS.

I'm now shopping for new garage doors, openers (our current one sounds like it might dislodge and land on someone's head), and a smart door opener. Merry Christmas to us. 

Care to vote on a door color? A few years ago we got new dark grey siding. The house is red brick. The windows:  trimmed in white. The house used to be white. The garage door is still white. Do we get a garage door to match the siding, or do we stick with a white garage door to match the trim? 

3.  Ef . . . fruit snacks!:  I went to Costco Tuesday night. I got an email Wednesday night, reminding me that I signed up to drop off 90 fruit snacks for the grade school's pizza day fundraiser. "#%$@*&^(&$#@" 

Thursday after babysitting, I ran back to Costco. 

4. Unintentionally hoarding emails:  Where was I when everyone learned about deleting emails? I never knew it was necessary. Maybe I thought they'd just gradually disappear. I rarely delete emails. I have 47k emails, give or take several thousand. If you know how to delete all unread (or some category) from a yahoo account - please advise. 

*****

Tell me your email managing techniques and why you think I'm so clueless. Do you have windows in your garage doors? Do you like them? Do you have smart locks - are they smarter than you? Manage to lock yourself our of your home? Between email, snail mailing receipts, and nonworking keypads, do you wonder if the Shenanigans have been trapped in a time warp? 

NaBloPoMo: A 60th Anniversary love story

 Today is my parents' 60th anniversary. My siblings, our spouses, and I  celebrated at a lunch in a small private room of a nice restaurant on Sunday. 

Dad announced:  I'm gonna tell you how we met. 

Not sure I've heard the story in its entirety. Nana sat across the table from him, beaming the whole time and nodding. She has Alzheimer's. She still knows us, might draw a blank on a name. While I suspect that she's forgotten some details, she fakes things fairly well. She seems to have moments of clarity. Hey - don't we all. 

Dad:  A guy named Mick (Nana's brother) used to tease me in the caddy shack while we were waiting for a loop. He could hold the basketball (palm it) with one hand. He'd hold it really high and tell me to try to grab it. He thought it was funny. 

One day he told me, 'Hey, JR, my sister's in the pool'

Coach:  Hang on, is this story PG? 

Grinning, Dad nodded.

Dad:  So I walked over to the pool. I saw her, but I couldn't tell much. (I think he was introduced to her at some point, my SIL filmed his retelling, so I'll have to refer back at some point). She came to Notre Dame (where dad was a student) with her father for a football game. Her brother was an ND student too. I saw them and invited them up to see my room. 

* the crowed grew a little restless. Some of the men in my family were motioning a Hell to the no, would I allow my daughter up in some guy's room. Sign of the times though, JR invited Nana and her dad. 

Dad:  That summer, I asked her out. It was August. I don't think she liked me much. My hay fever was so bad, I was blowing my nose and itching my eyes. 

* When we were kids, Nana used to tell us that Dad took his glasses off when they were dating, a signal that he was about to kiss her. This made us moan. The eye itching prompted him to remove his glasses - it all adds up. How convenient.

Dad:  She told me that she was going into the convent. She wanted to become a nun. I finished college. Served in the army for two years, and when I was discharged, I wanted to get married. 

I took a polish girl to a Notre Dame game. She was a really nice girl. We were eating at the popular spot near campus, Frankie's. Someone behind me says, Hi JR. I turned around and it was Nana. 

I said, "I thought you were in the convent." 

She said, "They let us out on weekends." She was joking - she'd left the convent. 

The next day, I called her up. We started dating, and then we got married.

*****

My bother:  And that polish girl still wanders from tailgate to tailgate, looking for JR - the one that got away.

*****

It never occurred to me, but I sort of crossed paths with Coach through my brother too. Coach's fam lived down the street. Coach and my brothers caddied together. We started dating after I graduated college. At our wedding, my brother, Pat's toast started like this:  I always thought Coach was my friend, I didn't realize he was just using me to get to my sister.

NaBloPoMo: So this sucked

I generally like to keep things light, but last night went off the rails.

A few weeks ago, Kay  13 yrs (youngest daughter - just adopted she and her sister Rae 14 yrs in September - they've been with us for 2.5 yrs) mentioned in family therapy that she's not thrilled that Rae and Kay's bestie 'Flynn' exchange long letters. Coach and I were unaware this was a thing. Rae was not in this session. 

Later, Me to Rae:  Hey, I'm glad you and Flynn get along, but the letters are making Kay uncomfortable. How about you chat with Flynn when you see her and stop with the 5 page letters?

Rae (eyeroll):  Our letters aren't 5 pages, but whatever. 

Rae steers clear of trouble pretty consistently. The early days/year with her - nothing short of nightmarish, but aside from a few recent bumps, she's made great progress. 

Kay's another story. She lies and sneaks, making it tough to connect with her. The lack of connection is hard. Really hard. 

Anyway, it's pretty clear that Rae likes to hold herself up as 'I'm not getting into trouble like you are'. She enjoys the 'I've made progress' role.

Tuesday, I found the stash of letters Flynn wrote Rae. (*In order to keep them safe, we look through their room on occasion. They know this. Our family therapist supports this. We long for the day when this won't be necessary. Trust me - they've given us reason to go this route). The letters aren't 5 pages, they're 4. Lots of drama from school and talk about boys, etc. I can't read what Rae sent to Flynn, but one of the responses from Flynn included a red flag, like we got the idea of what Rae had said to her and it was concerning. A nothing-to-mess-around-with-red-flag.  

Rae is insecure, but she plays if off as the opposite, so having an 8th grader write her and tell her how amazing she is gives her a boost. "Kay's my best friend but you're like a sister to me". *The 'you're amazing' bits were not the concerning parts. 

We spoke to Rae about the letters and our concern. She got dysregulated. We gave her the option to pause. We'd talk later. Arms were crossed, words were said. "None of your business." etc. She yelled at Kay a ton, blaming her for bringing up the letters at therapy in the first place. "I let her hang out with my friends," ~ yeah, she's not writing them letters. 

We explained (and it was very clear) that this was a safety concern and as her parents we need to keep her safe. "It was a long time ago and I didn't even tell Flynn about it -she found out . . ." 

We again pointed out that her attitude needed to be toned down and that it would be best if she took a break and regroup. 

I went to the closet to get my coat, so I could go to Costco. Rae stormed up to her room, and when she passed the hall closet she pushed the door hard - knocking me into the closet.

Hey now! Uncool. 

I left for Costco and Rae came downstairs and went outside. 

I texted Coach from Costco:  Did she come back?

Coach:  Yeah - are you gonna come back . . . ever?

Our agenda that night included flu shots. Coach agreed to meet me at the drug store. I cringed, wondering if he'd have a tough time corralling a certain teenage girl. 

I started the paperwork with the help of our amazing pharmacist, George. We've known him for years, OK, I've known him for years. Much like the Target experience, I'm not sure Coach has frequented Osco Drug enough to know George. Before Coach arrived, I told George one of the newbies had given us hell, so if he wanted to administer a few extra shots, that'd be fine. 

Coach went back first. The shot lady closed the door. A minute later, Coach screamed. Coach said he got the shot lady's permission to scream beforehand, as he wanted to freak out our teen girls who were waiting. I'm telling you - he's not sure about return policies at national branches, but he's got a humorous side. 

Coach, Curly, and Kay drove home and I got to grab a few things at the store with Rae after our shots. I was rushing, because Katlyn, fam therapist, agreed to call us at 8:45 after her last client. 

I wish I'd thought to take a photo
 from inside my messy closet, but
 Coach is sleeping as I type this -
 way past my bedtime. I've just
 got this Whole Foods shot.

Whole Foods called to say my order was ready. Coach, who's clinic is next to WholeFoods, was supposed to pick that up during the day, but I'd never gotten the 'it's ready message'. I told them he'd come the next day, but they said the order would be cancelled if I didn't come before 9. Mother of Pearl. The low sugar chocolate chips were nothing emergent, but I drove to pick it up with my friend in the backseat. Silence, save Fleetwood Mac's Landslide on the radio. Thank you radio for providing the soundtrack to tonight's drama.  

Coach and I took Kaylyn's call in my walk-in closet. She helped us sort out which things were punishable and what fell in the 'need to keep you safe' category, and gave us a few suggestions. 

We invited Rae into the study to chat. It didn't go well. "I'll be fine at school," she said. "This is what I get like when I'm mad. I act different when I'm at school." 

Me:  Well, think about that, because you're sitting here with two people who love you. We're not some Joe Shmoo walking around the school halls.

We decided we weren't sure she could be trusted to be in control while at school. So we're keeping her home - maybe Coach can drive her midday, if she's able to have a discussion that shows her grasp of the situation. (her ride to school had been sick two days running - the daycare drop off at my house makes it really hard to get her to school. He texted later, saying he was still sick and honestly, not having to drive her is a godsend). 

We're not sure this was the right move, but when she was fired up and horrible early on - we said Not sure school tomorrow makes sense for you. Not that our bio kids came with instructions, but dang - these two sure didn't come with a manual and we're muddling along as best we can. 

It's nights like this that I wonder. What are we doing? Will our life always be full of turmoil? 

Me (as Coach and I were leaving the closet):  What were we thinking - we could've bought a second home. We could've gone on nice vacations. Is life always gonna feel so difficult?

Coach:  Well, I felt comfortable in your closet. We could just hang out in here more often. 

*****

Back to shorter posts tomorrow. Thanks for letting me vent. Ever have the radio play the perfect song for a tense car ride?

NaBloPoMo: where does the (MY) time go?

Feeling overwhelmed - thinking of a million posts I could share. How about where my time goes  . . . (this is a supposed to be an example of how I can get pulled in different directions - there are loads of things I intentionally spend time on).

I shuffled Reg's phone call out of this post and lumped it with Monday's funny things.

*****

1. Friday self report grades:  Curly's application to U of I was incomplete until she self reported her grades. Silly. Other colleges work off the transcript. I helped her input her grades to complete her application.

*****

2. Thursday text from my sister, Marie:  Can you cut Mom's hair before the anniversary lunch on Sunday? (My parents' 60th anniversary is this week and we celebrated Sunday). Despite zero training, I cut Nana's hair Saturday. I'd hoped to do it Friday, but ran out of time. 

*****

3. Tank and Coach's haircuts:  On Saturday Tank and Ed came home from the city to

Welcome to my studio.

celebrate Coach's bday a week early. Next weekend everyone was busy. Guess who needed haircuts? Tank and Coach. Ed had just gotten one. It was chilly (less messy to cut outside), but manageable. 

*****

4. Friday social worker, Morgan:  The girls' social worker returned my call Friday. I needed the girls' SSNs for our insurance enrollment. Morgan's great. Now that the adoption is finalized, she doesn't check in/have monthly visits.  I grabbed a few laundry baskets and sorted them while we chatted.

 

*****

5. Thursday read 'Holes' with Kay:  We started this book at the end of the summer, but during school  - harder to carve out time. I read to her for 30 min. before . . . 

******

6. I picked up Rae:  I drove  15 min to Rae's high school Thursday night, where she watched a play.  Coach had dropped her off. 

*****

7.  Wednesday night Ed called:  Ed's always busy, so I enjoyed catching up with him. The minute I hung up, the phone rang . . .

*****

8. Tank called: Hilarious, because they live across the street from each other. He'd played his wooden flute in a session (Irish music in a pub) that night. He'd had a few beers, and shared an animated story about a huge rat that he crossed paths with.  

*****

9. Mini texted me Monday morning:  Can you ship me my winter coat? She didn't come home for fall break- went to TN. I've been to ND multiple times this fall. I get it - it's hard to think about winter when the weather is mild. I'm contemplating driving there Friday for lunch, etc. - but I could use a day off to get stuff done. 

*****

My arms are long, and my aim
 isn't bad - my new angle is
 to take a pic of us from above.
Book page:  "Big bear, little chair.
Big chair, little bear." Never gets old.
Can you count all the littles in the pic? 

9.  Resume service:  For months I helped Lad with his resume and cover letters, and networking suggestions for his job search. 

*****

Coach moaned recently about my time in the study, pointing out that I'd already been at my computer for 'so long'. He doesn't get that much of 'my computer time' is spent signing field trip forms, communicating with multiple therapists and teachers, paying bills, and uploading tot/baby photos (exhibit A to the right) to my FB group for my babysitting families. 

Do you feel like there's never enough time in the day?